The creative outlet of Anthony Munkholm: thanks for reading

Healing through my words:


Life doesn't give you the people you want,
it gives you the people you need:
to love you, to hate you, to make you, to break you, & to make you the person you were meant to be. -unknown




Love can and will come to those who still believe in it. Hope is the key. Even when faced with disappointment love will still find a way. Even after betrayal love will still knock on your door. Love will come to those who have been hurt before. I will never give up on love. I will even love those who no longer love me. Love is all there is and all there ever will be. -me




I believe I have been given an opportunity to share my successes and my struggles, my up's and my down's, the good and the bad with those who find their way to my blog. I feel I have been given a gift to write. I feel in my heart part of my gift to the world comes through my words. My greatest joy comes through expressing myself here. I write for myself but I feel compelled to share it with you too. I believe in love, compassion, and understanding which I share here.














Saturday, December 18, 2010

Why I choose FAITH

After an incredibly in-depth conversation with a dear friend of mine recently I have been inspired to write about faith.

The basis of much of our conversations was based on how could I choose faith? Why do I believe in hope? How do I see the good in those that may not even see it in themselves?

I choose to believe that FAITH stands for Finding Answers In The Heart. I believe that I decide how I feel. I believe that if I continue to practice my meditation and stay committed to living in the now my heart will give me everything that I need.

When I am sad, anger, ANXIOUS, I believe the energy inside of me is trying to get my attention. I believe that I am in control of my anxiety and ever since I put my foot down I do not lose as much.

I choose to have FAITH because in my darkest hour, when I thought my family and friends had given up on me, I discovered I was not alone. I felt the presence of something so great I knew it was important to go on. I knew that I was not finished yet. I knew that no amount of science could answer what I felt; I knew that it was all that there is. I saw my place, I understood my purpose, and I took my head out of the clouds, saw the sun and knew why I was here.

I choose to have FAITH because I am willing to admit that there are things I just do not understand. I have FAITH because I see the signs when I pay attention. I have FATIH because I have seen the clues, felt the presence, and got glimpses of it in action. I have FAITH because I understand and am willing to admit that I have not evolved to the point that I can truly grasp all parts of my existence.

I choose to have FAITH because I believe everyone is doing the best that they can. I choose to have FAITH because I know there are those that do not. I stay strong and committed to my FAITH because I want to be a light for those who are trapped in the dark.

I have FAITH because I believe there is way more to life than what is in front of our faces. I believe there is more to life then what our brains can conceive. I have FAITH because some things are not meant to be explained.

I choose to have FAITH because without it I felt alone. I choose to have FAITH because when I abandoned it my life felt harder. I choose to have FAITH because it turns out I have always had everything I need.

My FAITH comforts me when I am sad, my FAITH pats me on the back when I am down or lost, my FAITH is strong enough that I can stay committed to it in the face of adversity. In some of my darkest hours when many would question if this were just a bunch of bullshit for weak-minded people I found the strength to push on.

I found the perseverance to say that Yes I can make it through this, that there was a reason I went to war, saw extreme violence, went through my parents divorce, grew up poor, got lost in drugs, had my heart broken over and over, I came out on top. It does not matter what happened yesterday because today I found FAITH I found a reason to feel good, I found a reason to believe, what can be more beautiful than that?

I have FAITH because I can still find a reason to smile. I have FAITH because even when things are tough I can feel good about something. I have hope that if I hold onto the positives in my life the bad will work its way out. I have FAITH because when I listen to my emotions they tell me what I need to do.

I have hope for those who do not have FAITH. I am not here to throw it upon them; tell them that they are wrong or lost; everyone takes their own journey. I have FAITH for those who have been stepped on, those who have been taken advantage of, those who have been beaten down, those who feel lost, those who want to give up, those who just cant believe; because I want to share my faith. Because it may just be too hard to admit or believe that there could be FAITH when life just keeps shitting on them, that is why I have FAITH.

I have FAITH because I want them to know they are never alone. I am full of FAITH because even as I listen to stories from those who have none I see the twinkle in their eye. I see the yearning of their soul; I can feel their energy. I have FAITH because I know when they ask they will be answered. I have FAITH because if they do not find it this time they will get to try again. I have FAITH because I do not believe you ever lose in this game. I will never judge those for not having FAITH for I had lost mine too. They decide if they want faith, if they need faith, it may not be for everyone, hell it may not even be real.

I am not worried if FAITH is real for when I go within my heart sings, and if that is wrong, or not real I do not care.

In your times of struggle you can turn to me, I will be strong for you, I will let you know that you are special; I will be here for you. I love all of you.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

32 Things I am thankful for




1. I am thankful for my wife.
2. I am thankful that my wife is willing to work on Thanksgiving so I do not have to.
3. I am thankful she is willing to put the needs of others before her own.
4. I am thankful she has stuck with me through the good and the bad.
5. I am thankful my mother is here with me on thanksgiving.
6. I am thankful for my wonderful nephew Zachary, I just love him so much. He is a representation of all that is good and right with this world!
7. I am thankful for my father, and am enjoying reminiscing about the Thanksgiving he spent with me last year.
8. I am thankful for my two wonderful sisters. I love them both so much, and appreciate how they have been with me through thick and thin.
9. I am thankful for all my wonderful aunts and uncles, who have always loved me and I love them.
10. I am thankful for my Grandfather who always wants what is best for all of his children and grandkids.
11. I am thankful for the spirit of my grandmother, for she comes to me whenever I ask and I can always feel her presence and her love.
12. I am thankful for Dr. Leonard for without him my wonderful spine and my overall wellness would not be where it is today.
13. I am thankful for my boss Ed, because he gave me a job when I needed one and gave me the tools to become the successful trainer I am today.
14. I am thankful for all of the workers who helped package, farm, and raise the delicious food that I will consume on this day.
15. I am thankful for all of my cousins, as they are all different and I love them all for many reasons. I have been blessed with a great family and every time I with them it is truly a blessing.
16. I am thankful for my friends who are in MN and thankful for my friends who are right here in California.
17. I am thankful for the memories I have at the lake house with my man Luke and the time we spent the night in his truck. As terrible as that was sleeping in a small truck in the middle of the winter it still makes me laugh every time I think about it.
18. I am thankful for my friend since day 1, Matt Bartell, he and I have been through hell and back and basically 20 years later we are still great friends.
19. I am thankful that I have this very warm house to be in right now.
20. I am thankful that I have two wonderful dogs, which are always there for me and always love me.
21. I am grateful for Miss. Kim and all that she has done for me, and I am thankful that she is a close friend of mine. I am grateful that I am lucky enough to be able to call on her in a time of need or when I just want to discuss the universe. What a gift she has helped me find, I am forever grateful.
22. I am thankful for all of my clients, because without them I would be nothing as a trainer. A special thanks to Janine, who has been with me since the day I started as a trainer, she has come so far!
23. I am thankful for all of the hard work my clients give, because their dedication to working out is what drives me to become an even better trainer.
24. I am thankful for anyone who has to work today, whether military, a nurse, or the poor guy at Wal-Mart, because without them our country would not be as great as it is.
25. I am thankful for my coffee pot, as it is cold in my house as I write this and I am looking forward to warming my belly with some organic Seattle’s Best breakfast blend.
26. I am thankful for the talents that I have been blessed with, I find peace, comfort, and oneness in my writing and without it I would be a mess. I am especially thankful for anyone who would take the time to read my blog, it means the world to me!
27. I am thankful to my God who never left me and after many long years of searching I returned to him. I was never alone, she was with me the whole time, right here inside of me.
28. I am thankful I have discovered meditation. Meditation brought me back to God, has showed me the wonders of the Universe, and has taugh me how to “be.” Being still is the greatest thing I have discovered in this lifetime.
29. I am thankful that I found California. I belong here, my soul feel’s right here, my body loves it here, and my mind never wants to leave.
30. I am thankful for this beautiful house we live in and the family that we have made so far.
31. I am thankful for Facebook because it has allowed me to reconnect with some amazing friends from high school.
32.. I am thankful for everything in my life, the up’s and the downs, the highs and lows, the light and the dark, because without it I would not be me.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

For Veterans

Surrendering part of yourself,
Commitment to those who go through the struggle with you,
Walking into the unknown with only those who stand next to you,
Praying to God that you will come home safe,

Finding comfort in those who use to be complete strangers,
Swallowing your fears and anxieties,
Security now comes in the form of an M-16 and Kevlar vest,
Hoping the training was enough,

Trying to remember you simply have a job to do,
Asking yourself is this what I really signed up for,
Holding onto the image of your wife’s crying face as you part her,
Swearing you will make it back to her,

Missing the little things,
A hot shower,
A quiet night,
The sense of security of your own home,
The smell of a woman,

Counting down the days till you are home,
Making new friends,
Having some good laughs,
Realizing it is not always so bad,

Grateful for the experience I have had,
Excited to get on that plane,
Anxious to return home,
Anticipating what I will do first,

First step off that plane,
How I love this new sense of freedom,
An urge to bend down and kiss the ground,
And then...

There she is, the reason I was able to make it through those days,
A sense of joy that cannot be described,
I pick her up and swing her around,
Welcome home.

To all of the Veterans on this day, while I wish we would find an answer to the world’s problems that does not involve violence, I have been there done that. And because of that experience I will forever respect those who have gone before us and gave up everything for a mission greater than themselves.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Tree


We are all one. We are all connected. We are all part of the all that there is and when we take that to heart our lives will unfold in the most beautiful ways.

Just as a mother feels so connected to her child, as I continue to evolve I realize I am feeling more and more connected to each and every one of you.

When I walk down the street and see “strangers” I realize they are each individuals, just another expression of God. Another way for God to experience life on Earth.

Is it no wonder why we all look so different, experience such different highs and lows? But when we step back we realize we all go through struggles, we all go through really good times. What one may experience as an extremely tough time with no possible solution, another will embrace the challenge, come out on top and evolve that much further on this journey we call life.
We are all one. There are examples everywhere of this amazing unity that we all share with one another.

As I was walking this morning, I was doing my best to live in the moment. For this moment I have the power to decide how I am going to feel. I took my time, I smelt the air, I listened to the birds waking up, and I felt a little bit of warmth on my face as the sun came out. Moments like this are truly beautiful, I am focused on the right now, and I feel good. I feel alive. I feel connected.

Continuing to observe nature as I walked I realized the perfect example of unity was right there in front of me.
A massive tree stood in my path and I could not help but be taken back by its obvious beauty. This Oak tree with its tall, branches extended in every direction, beautiful leaves hanging, some already ventured to the ground. The roots of this tree were enormous and firmly planted in the ground, stretching out in all directions as if forming a layer of protection to ensure that life will go on for this tree.

What greater sign do I need that we are all connected than the perfect example that this tree offered? So many of us just walk through our days, just doing what we feel we should. We go to our jobs, we go to school, we take care of our families and before you know it we are 40, or 50 or older. We have let so many moments in our lives pass us by that offer us chances to get closer to the source of life.

Appreciating the beauty of this tree brought me closer to my source and I could feel the energy and love flowing through me as I thought of all the things this tree has been through and all that it represents.

This tree once started out as a seed, just as you and I started out as an embryo. But someone had to plant that tree in order for it to start its wonderful life. We did not become until the perfect time when two people came together to create life. And the lives of those people with enough faith can be traced all the way back to when life began. As the roots of this tree spread everywhere, it makes me think of all the different people all over the world and how at one point there were only two.
As the roots of this tree spread over many years to become strong, I think of the first humans venturing out and reproducing until eventually they touched all corners of the globes.

Notice the trunk of the tree sturdy, strong, and unaffected by outside circumstances. It does not matter if someone even tries to cut down this tree, it will stay true to itself and just try to grow. The tree does not get caught up in the past where people may have mistreated, or ignored it. The tree simply continues to find a way to survive.

Humans can learn a lot from this example. We need not hold onto the past if it leaves a bad taste in our mouths. We can take those experiences, learn the lessoned they offered and move on.

Have you ever noticed how an Oak tree peels away layers only to reveal a stronger layer of skin underneath? We are the same way, we can peel away old emotions, and we can start anew anytime we choose.

I stood there and removed some of the peeling bark and thought as I dropped the bark to the ground, it really is this easy to let go and focus on moving forward. It really is this easy to feel good.

Work your way up the tree; notice how the tree branches off in several directions. Is this not the perfect representation of all of the choices in life that we have. Whether the branch went straight up to the sky, or went left and hangs only a few inches off the ground, is it not beautiful that it is still connected to that source which gave it life.

When I finally got all the way up the leaves were the most beautiful part. They are like individual identities that even though very much separated are still connected. Just as we humans who embrace our diversity, we can also hold onto the love. The knowing that we all came and are a part of the same source. We are not separate but rather an extension of our source.

As some of the leaves fall to the ground, and eventually break down to return to the earth, I can’t help but think of the circle of life.

We never truly die, we move on to return to that source which gave us this most beautiful life in the first place.

That tree is beautiful, you are beautiful, and we are all one!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Time for Grad school!

As I was meditating this morning, a thought jumped into my consciousness and would not leave. I tried to just let it run its course but I could not remove my focus from it and therefore in order to deal with it I am putting the thoughts down on paper so I can once again return to clarity.
I am about to embark on another new journey in my life with which I have a lot of mixed feelings. I am starting grad school in about two weeks. I am very eager to begin my first day of class.
I will be attending A.T. Still University and pursuing a master’s in public health. This is a very exciting thing for me to get started on. I have been searching for many years on what would be the next stepping stone after personal training. And while I have aspirations to continue with some of my clients for as long as they have me, working as a full-time personal trainer is not a career I truly want forever.
There are several reasons public health is so appealing to me.
1. I find it amazing the basic general lack of knowledge it today’s society about the importance of diet, exercise, and stress.
2. I have had wonderful success on an individual basis with many of my clients and I am eager to share my knowledge and get involved with communities instead of just individuals.
3. There is a misunderstanding among the public who believe that they need not take action until something is already wrong, I wish to bring a more pro-active approach to health care.
4. The jobs in public health are numerous, ultimately I would like to work as a public health educator, but I can also see myself getting involved in non-profits who strive to make the world a healthier place.
I am already proud to be a part of A.T. Still university as their mission statement and approach to medicine is what drew me to them in the first place. A.T. Still is a school of osteopathic medicine who believes that optimal health is not merely achieved through attention to the physical body, they also believe in tending to the mind and the spirit as well.
Many of the D.O’s who graduate from A.T. Still believe that the mind, body, spirit connection is too great to ignore. I have had the privilege to read numerous journal articles published by A.T. Still that offers many different approaches to wellness rather than just treating the symptoms.
I am living proof that when one addresses a medical condition (migraines) from a three-tier approach that the results are undeniable. I am committed to make some changes to the way medicine is practiced in this country. I do not believe we as a country need to force anything upon anyone, but if I take an approach that offers people more and more evidence and knowledge on why it is so important to be pro-active not only will we have more productive citizens in this country we will also save billions on health care. Obviously something as big as medicine and the money and politics involved will make changes come very slow but if I do not try things will never change.
If everyone does not have health care in this country (which I do find morally wrong) the least we can do is educate them to the benefits of a diet filled with nutritious food. We do not need to ban the sale of McDonalds because eventually society will evolve to the point where people realize how important their bodies are and they would personally choose to no longer fill their bodies with toxins and waste. Right now too many people just do not care or realize how much benefit they can give to themselves but exercising and eating right.
It is like putting water in your gas tank when you eat fast food, it does not belong there and will not function very well. If you fill your body with crap you are going to limit its abilities to function at its best. Everything your body ever needs either walks on the earth, grows in the earth, or swims in the sea. Hippocrates said it best, “Let you food be thy medicine and thy medicine be thy food.”
I want to be a part of this change. I am excited to help this country get healthier and help people start taking more responsibility for their own well-being.
I am going to great things for the health of this country, I am passionate and committed to this goal of mine. I am very excited to start school and make a difference.

Saturday, August 14, 2010


Trying to find something to do,
Looking around and nothing seems appealing,
I throw a few ideas around in my head, they all seem to come up short,
This feeling of restlessness appears to be winning,

I put on the T.V. but I never really wanted to,
I pick up a book, not feeling it today,
I went outside but not for very long.
So I pick up the pen and I begin to write,

Words come quickly to me,
Portraying my feelings comes with ease,
My imagination begins to take over,
I drop the oars and the ideas begin to flow,

I was never bored,
You were always here suggesting ideas,
Then it becomes clear as day,
When I do not go within
I almost always go without.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

My Journey Back To God Part VI

Today I have made peace with much of my troubled past. At times I still struggle, sometimes I know that it is much easier to preach then it is to practice. But I am strong and everytime I struggle I am creating the opportunity to create an even brighter future. I am not always Mr. Happy Go Lucky but I have been able to more and more stop myself and ask myself one simple question, “How does this make me feel?”

Our feelings are the greatest gift and tool that we have. They are an indication of how we are doing and what things we can expect to come into our future. Honoring your feelings and dealing with them the moment they arise is the key to happiness.

Do not ignore your feelings for in the ignorance of our feelings we open ourselves up to unwanted things experiences and circumstances. Your soul always knows what it is that we truly want and by going within yourself first and seeing how you feel about a certain situation, person or circumstance you will be guided to your highest truth. And in this highest truth you will find that God is always there and is willing to lend a helping hand.

I think my wife said it very well, "I think everyone makes it harder than it needs to be, its not some big mystery... God loves everyone unconditionally. Mistakes are to be expected and life will be difficult at times. Be patient, other times life requires big decisions, and they may be difficult. There is no point in feeling sorry for yourself, pick yourself up and do what needs to be done to make your life better. Thats all it is, its no big secert, be nice, be generous and persist with patience."

When I began to experience the migraines on a regular basis it never occurred to me that this could be my soul’s way of telling me that there are a lot of things that you are hiding from. My soul did not want me to experience ill health but after years and years of ignoring all the signals the universe was trying to give me the energy finally got too great. Ignoring my feelings of unworthiness caused the energy to continue to build up inside of me. When I started dealing with the problems from my childhood I actually began to get some relief.

The other crucial part for me in relieving myself of this ill health was declaring to myself and the universe that I indeed created these migraines. Not only did I create them but they were truly a great gift from God. For if I never started to suffer ill health what else would it have taken in order for me to deal with my true feelings. Even docotors are starting to see the connections between the way people think and feel and the overall health they experience. I no doubt believe that much of the disease present in the world today could be greatly improved by focusing more attention on people's emotions instead of simply the physical symptoms.

I am so grateful for the migraines that I had to deal with, the fighting of my parents and my time in the Navy for without those experiences would I have ever found my pathway back to God?

The coincidence is too perfect to ignore. As I began to improve the way I felt about things the universe brought to me: the circumstances, the situations and the people in my life that I needed I began to heal. When I was sick all of the time it seemed as if I was surrounded by people who were either sick or were constantly feeling sorry for themselves. As I strived to get healthier those people did not seem to come around anymore.

The same principle applies to my mother. She was very manipulative with me, often taking advantage of my innocence. When I came to terms with this and took my power back we were able to build an entirely new relationship. We often laugh together, have great conversations and most of all I finally feel that love and want to give the love back.

My thoughts without a doubt are the basis of what my life has become. I have taken a new approach to life, an approach that involves stepping back and honoring my feelings in every situation. Debbie Ford’s book The Dark Side of The Light Chasers offers some great techniques and exercises to help with this. I recognize just how detrimental a pessimistic approach to life can be. We as a society have been so programmed to look at the worst of a situation rather than the best. We have been taught to hate more than love. We have been taught to be afraid rather than to trust, in these beliefs, we have sacrificed our ability to truly find happiness. There is an easier way to God then a life filled with struggle. Although seeing the divine in even the worst of times offers even greater gifts from our soul.

We have the abilities to live the most glorious life one can imagine. God is here to help us fulfill our every desire, our every wish, and our every dream. God is here to help us understand that we are all truly connected, that no one is every truly alone. For how could you ever be alone when you come from and are forever connected to God.

This concept has lead me to walk a different path in life. For if we are all one does the potential to love each other not return the greatest benefit back on to me. I have chosen to go forth and always try to find the best in any situation (at times I still lose this one). I am willing to find things to feel good about even if there are more things to feel bad about. I have made peace with my enemies and told those closest to me that I love them with all of my heart. My life has a new purpose, I am here to work as a messenger of God. I am here to carry a torch to bring others to this light I see.

I am no longer afraid of life for I know I am never alone. God has sent me many angels to help me along this path and I am grateful for every single one of them.

God has spoken to me and has shown me the way to him. The power of meditation is a tool none of us should ever ignore. For if you ever seek your highest truth you will find it within the stillness of your mind.

In the end we will all find our own pathway back to God for no one loses in this game, we are all headed to the same place. Life is here for us to embrace and enjoy, life is suppose to be fun. Therefore judge not what others are doing for we as individuals do not have the ability to know the path of another’s soul. Do your best to love and be loved for after all are greatest gift from God is having the ability to do just that.

The End

A special thanks to a few very important people:

To Meredith: words only go so far and I know I have made mistakes but I am forever grateful for the gifts you have given me and for the love you have shown me even in my darkest hour.

To Dr. Eisen: I do not even know what to say except Thank you! I am so grateful to you and everything you have given me. You really are an angel!
Check out her website at doEFT.com you will not regret it.

To Dr. Leonard: Thank you for making my health troubles your health troubles. Thanks for giving me the belief that I could indeed heal my body. I am forever grateful.

And to my wonderful family, mom, dad, my wonderful sisters and great friends thanks for being you and always doing your best to be who you are, I love you all.

Thank you everyone for your continuted support and reading of my blog, I will continue to do my best to write about things that mean a lot to me and my only desire is that they also may serve of some benefit to those who find their way to my words. Namaste!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

My Journey Back To God Part V

I had been practicing meditation for about a year before I was introduced to any of these new ways of thinking. I never had much of an experience with meditation, I usually would just end up chasing my thoughts around in a circle for a few minutes and then walk away. In Conversations With God it suggests that in order to truly know God you must go within. So with a strong intention I decided to test the concepts of these books and began meditating on a consistent basis, every morning and every evening. After a few days of trying and not making much of progress I was not sure if I was meditating correctly.

Then one evening while I was walking up the stairs and doing my best to try to talk to God I heard the words clear as day “Are you sure you are ready?” Suddenly a feeling of comfort and what I describe as pure love, the greatest love I had every felt filled every fiber of my body. In an instant I saw my life flash before my eyes. I saw myself as a child in my first house where the fights between my parents first started, I relieved my first sexual encounter, I visualized myself in Afghanistan scared and alone and it capped off with a glimpse of what I now perceive to be my future.

Such vivid images, it was as if I was watching a movie of my life. I saw the energy that is used to form what we perceive to be our physical reality. I saw the energy that was part of something so great words cannot describe it. I saw how we have been gifted this incredible ability to touch, taste, smell, see and hear.

It was wonderful the clarity that had come from that moment, the feeling of being alone suddenly left me. The unfolding of my life had become so obvious to me, no longer did I question why I grew up in a household filled with verbal violence. No longer did I feel ashamed for losing myself in a drug haze for years. No more was I angry with the military for sending me into two war zones. After that moment I often found myself able to just let go while meditating and allow the Universe to show me what I had been asking for. From a broader perspective, from a deep willingness to question the unknown did I find what I have been looking for all my life, I found myself and I found God.

On that day my prayers were answered and I talked to the divine. We did not talk in the format we as people are accustomed to. We had an exchange of feelings, I was given a very powerful sense of clarity. An ultimate sense of just knowing, knowing that I am loved, knowing that God has always been there for me and a belief that everything in my life is perfect just as it is.

That day I did not find God in a church, I did not find her in a book as many have, I found him within me. I found that day that the path to God is different for everyone and that God is big enough to walk each of our paths with us.I discovered that there are as many ways to God as their are people on this planet.

Embracing this idea rather than trying to deny it is when a sense of love and security filled my entire body. The feeling was so profound I could not deny the truth it held behind it. God is not this thing or this person that sits in the heaven and watches down on us. God is an experience, a knowing, a feeling so strong no other description would fit. God is trust, a trust that when you ask for something you will always have it. I no longer felt separate from God but felt and saw that I was a tiny piece to a much larger puzzle. I began to understand just how big the statement “We are all one” really was.

This knowing allowed me for the first time in my life to relax, the anxiety that I have been dealing with on a regular basis diminished greatly. I did not need a medication to control my mind,I needed a willingness to admit that help has always been there for me and I simply needed to allow it.

I now know I have the power and ability to control my mind and have freed myself from the vices that so many often find themselves dependent on. By admitting that I had created my own reality I was able to take ownership of it and then change it.

The moments that make up my life happened in the exact way they needed to in order for my soul to realize its fullest potential. We as humans we must experience the highs and lows in order to declare to the Universe which we prefer. How could I truly experience love if love was the only thing I ever knew. I no longer feel that my mother does not love me, I know that she did her very best to give me the love that she was capable of. My mother gave me the greatest gift of all, from the time I was a child and the things I went through were all part of the Divine’s plan to help me realize fully that I am truly loved and always have been.

When I was feeling so depressed and so unloved my soul called out to the heavens show me love and God answered my prayers. It was part of the not feeling loved, in feeling depressed and alone that I was able to guide myself to what I so desperately yearned for. Every situation, every person I have ever met is all part of a beautifully crafted maze that my soul is a part of in order to find love. In this feeling of love I am able to see the perfection of the universe.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

My Journey Back To God Part IV

Unwilling to simply hope my headaches would go away I accepted Dr. Eisen’s offer to do an EFT session over the phone. Not knowing much about EFT my father suggested I look around on her website (doEFT.com) and get an idea of what I was going to be getting myself into. On her website I read such wonderful stories of people who had with Dr. Eisen’s help found the ability to forgive an abusive father, get over a terrible accident and simply start over in life. I read a quote that stated, “fifteen minutes with Dr. Eisen was more useful to me than 15 years of traditional therapy.” After reading that I was convinced that it would at least be worth my time to try it.

Little did I know I was about to have one of the most powerful moments of my life during our phone session. Dr. Eisen gave me the tools, the knowledge and the belief in myself that not only am I worthy of being loved but I am love. During our session she took me on a roller coaster ride of emotions. At times I was so sad and scared I could not stop the tears from rolling down my face. At other times the rage and anger that she tapped into even took me by surprise. I had trouble accepting that I could have so much anger built up towards my mother. As the session progressed we continued to work our way towards better thoughts, better circumstances and most of all better feelings.

Dr. Eisen had a way of getting me to go back and face my past. We tapped into every feeling I had ever bundled up and it felt like an explosion had occurred within me. It was as if a million pounds had been lifted of my shoulders instantly. What clarity she helped me find, such incredible realizations began to come over me. I started to understand my mother from her perspective.

I began to see that in my mother’s eyes she felt she was doing the best she could. I began to have sympathy for my mother knowing that she too did not have the greatest childhood. Most importantly I truly believed for the first time that my mother has and always will love me. Dr. Eisen had me take a few really deep breaths and I noticed right away not only did my head not hurt but I was no longer feeling sorry for myself. Nor was I giving my attention to those unwanted things in my life that offered me no benefit. It was like a switch had been flipped in my head from negative to positive, almost immediately I started looking at life in a different way. A way that allowed me to no longer feel like a victim but instead a person who had control over the way he feels.

After our session was over, she instructed me it may be best to just lay in my bed and rest. I felt so drained like I had just run a marathon and yet so excited. Dr. Eisen gave me a great gift in that hour, she help me see the reasons I was getting the things in my life whether they were good or bad. She helped me see how powerful my feelings are and how important it is to acknowledge them. Bundling up your feelings will without a doubt have very negative consequences on the individual. A famous man once said that 99 percent of all illness is related to stress, after that day I could not agree more.

I now began to see clearly why my life had unfolded the way it did. I began throwing around the ideas in my mind, “how could I have ever felt loved by another when I had no love for myself?” “Is it possible that I created my reality in this very way?” “Is it possible that the events of my life were necessary to help bring me to a greater understanding? Could it be that the universe brought these circumstances, events and thoughts in order for me to find my way back to God?” Suddenly I was thinking on a very deep level, feelings were the basis of this experience. I felt guided by an amazing energy inside me, an energy that is so hard to explain but is so wonderful to feel.

Thirsty for knowledge I called Dr. Eisen the next day and did my best to put into words the feelings and thoughts that I was having. Dr. Eisen was not surprised and recommended I try reading a couple of books one called Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch and the other was Ask and It is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

As fast as my car would take me I raced to the nearest book store and began reading these mind blowing books. What insight these books offered me, what inspiration I felt as I turned every page. Could the basis of these books, the message We Are All One truly be the way the world works? Is it possible that we truly are the creator of our own experiences? That in essence we really do get what we think about it? I had never heard of the Law Of Attraction before which was introduced to me in these books and it states, “that which is like unto itself is drawn.” As simple as this statement appears to be, when I would meditate on the concept I began to clearly see how I was drawing everything into my life. From the headache that I hated so much or the meeting of my amazing wife all my feelings and thoughts are the reasons everything in my life came to be. These are all things I had asked for and therefore the universe answered me each and every time.

Monday, July 5, 2010

My Journey Back To God Part III

The Navy was good for me. It taught me discipline, how to work hard and most of all it got me away from the fighting. For the first time in my life I was on my own and free from the turmoil I was used to. Of course enlisting in the military after 9/11 I should have seen it coming the day our commanding officer came out and said, “Our mission has changed, we will all be going to Iraq and Afghanistan over the course of the next 3 years.” My heart sunk very quickly but I stood tall at attention taking the news in trying to act as if it was no big deal.

After serving in Iraq and Afghanistan and seeing violence I feel no one should ever have to witness I decided I would serve my five year obligation only. The Navy changed me. I did not want to admit it at the time but I was not the same person I was before I enlisted. Being the type of guy who never faces his true feelings I was now dealing with the issues from my past along with the mental and physical challenges of suffering a debilitating back injury and the nightmares of two wars. All of the stress was taking its toll on me and on my marriage. At times I would get so angry with my wife because my back would not stop hurting, or because she would try to talk to me about the war. These stresses would blow up into fits of fury. Eventually my back healed and my wife and I were able to take comfort in that. She continued to encourage me to seek out some help to deal with the PTSD label the military had assigned me. I once again refused help and our troubled marriage did not improve.

To add fuel to the fire my health was in jeopardy again, I began to suffer from intense migraines. I had been to numerous doctors, tried several medications and become an expert of self diagnosis with every possible cause. The more attention I paid to my migraines, the worse they seemed to get. I often would find myself lost in my own self loathing of poor me. I remember several times a day I would ask myself why me? Have I not been through enough already? I once again took my anger out on God, shouting to the heavens, cursing his very name. I was now more convinced than ever that there was no God.

My father would call me often, and he could hear the hurting in my voice as I explained to him that I was excited that my back no longer hurt but now I was getting incredibly painful headaches. He became increasingly worried about my health and had suggested I try something called EFT or emotional freedom technique with his new girl friend Dr. Kim Eisen.

I was very reluctant at first and did not believe that a “witch doctor” could help me with my health. My dad explained to me how she had helped him finally make some peace with his own childhood. My father comes from a family of alcoholics and lost his own mother to a house fire. After my father had worked with Dr. Eisen for a while I began to see the change in him as he ventured out to visit me in California. During his visit my father for the first time in his life openly displayed his love for me and as a result our relationship has blossomed into a beautiful friendship. I am truly grateful for the changes in my father but more importantly I was inspired to deal with my own demons. I was still hesitant to call Dr. Eisen but at this point I figured I had nothing left to lose. The doctors basically were telling me they did not know what to do to help me and that “generally people will outgrow these headaches and we hope they do not come back.”

Saturday, July 3, 2010

My Journey Back To God Part II

I was so angry with God for putting me in this situation. Living in this household where fighting happened almost every day. After my mother appeared to no longer need me I retreated to my room. Content on making God understand just how truly frustrated I was I reached for my Bible and in one foul swoop I tore it in half.

This moment felt so empowering to me. Why should I worship a God that allows a child to witness and go through such horrible things? Why was I so unworthy of love? What was wrong with me? These questions lead me to a complete dismissal of all faith and I decided that there was no God. In my eyes believing there was no God was the only answer. I had prayed so many times to God to end this fighting. I even tried bargaining with God to no appeal. I made unrealistic promises such as I will never get angry again if you just make the fighting stop. The fighting never did stop. My anger and hate for myself and God continued to grow.

I constantly craved attention and with a mother who was so caught up in the soap opera that was her life affection was hard to come by. A realization had come to me at a very young age, when I was hurt or sick my mother would give me the attention that I so craved. I often found myself in the emergency room. As a child I broke many bones. I often would even inflict pain on myself just to get attention. I would go to extremes such as rubbing my knuckles into the sidewalk back and forth causing the skin to tear and my fingers to bleed. I loved the sensation of pain, as it helped remind that I was alive.

I had a stint where I experimented with any and all drugs I could get my hands on. I was completely reckless and had no concern for my health and or well-being. The only thing I knew for sure was that when I hurt my body at least for that moment my mother would smother me with affection. I was on a self destructive path that appeared to have no end in sight.

I finally hit rock bottom when I decided to get into a fist fight with my step-father. After the dust settled I was told to be out of the house immediately and was to not come back. Lost and feeling utterly alone I did the only thing I knew how, I scored another bag and got lost in the haze of being high.

With feelings of suicide filling my every thought I was convinced that taking my own life was the only way out. I rehearsed it in my head so many times how I would do it. I was going to drive my car into oncoming traffic on the freeway. I thought to myself,” that’ll teach them for not loving me.” For some reason I could never truly bring myself to follow through with my plan. Something inside me kept telling me that this was not it. Not sure what to do but needing to get out of a tough situation I decided to enlist in the United States Navy.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

My Journey Back To God


A short story by Anthony Munkholm
(My short story consists of 6 parts and I will release one part every few days)

Dedicated to my beautiful wife who has stood by my side while I have embarked on this incredible journey that has forever changed my life.

Part I.

A house filled with anger and confusion is the basis of my life. A fire burning inside me so hot, so filled with rage that I swallowed it again because I know of no other release. I reach for my notebook, an oversized black sharpie, and begin to write in giant letters, “I HATE YOU.” I try to turn my music up to drown out the noise but it is too overpowering. I was doing my best to get lost in my thoughts frantically scribbling on paper. “I hate you. You are so stupid. Of course no one loves you.” This became the basis of my journal, statements made to myself as an affirmation that I was indeed utterly worthless.

In the kitchen the circus had started earlier than usual today. ”You do not really love me, you just play games with your love, you take it and you give it.” My mother is doing her best to plead her case to my step-father but he is stuck in his own vortex of rage. Back and forth they go, “You are crazy, you should be locked up in the mental ward,” screams my step-father. I have heard this argument so many times I could practically predict what would be said next. The tension in the house continues to build, my sisters hide out in their room dealing with the madness in their own way. “I want a divorce,” cries my mother as she veraciously pounds her feet up the stairs and slams the door to her bedroom.

I take a breath and hope the insanity has stopped at least for the moment. Retreating to my notebook I continue to project my feelings into the only thing that would listen to me, my journal. It was hard to write as I could hear the whimpers of desperation from my mother through the walls. Into her room I would go to do my best to try to console her. I would look her in the eyes but she was not there, she was lost in a maze of anger and sadness. My step-father had retreated to his office. He would go there so he could be alone for a few minutes of peace. With the two separated from each other, quiet whispers begin to fill the house. My sisters and I take comfort in this stillness, even if only for a second.

The silence does not last long, my mother refuses to let go of the fury swirling inside her. She truly believes with all of her heart that she has been the victim of another rotten relationship. She puts on her shoes and storms out to my step father’s office. The door is locked, so she starts frantically pounding on the door. Banging so aggressively against the door, you would have thought the garage was on fire. I watch through the kitchen window as my mother and step father argue back and forth through the door about who has wronged the other one more. It was like a display of insanity towards each other. The words that were said were so terrible I dare not repeat them here. Witnessing this I had to sit back and wonder did these two every truly love each other? What could possibly be so bad? These two who at one time seemed to be so happily in love have reduced themselves to the most basic form of name calling.

I began to cry as the day’s events continue to unravel. My mother comes back in the house and sees the tears that I was fighting to hold back. She tells me that she loves me, but her words mean nothing to me as I feel completely alone. I plead with her to stop fighting with my step-father. I beg her to stop the madness and just try to calm down. It was no use. I might as well have been talking to the wall. My mother reaches for another cigarette and lights it up. The cigarette appears to be the only thing that she truly cares about. Grasping to it so tightly it almost crumbles in her hands. She is completely oblivious to the influence she is having on her kids and the example that she is setting. She is so concerned with herself she does not even realize that she is tearing apart the very family that she has created. I once again was pushed to the way side so that my mother could continue to deal with what appeared to be a never ending struggle. At this point I felt so alone, I had given up on myself and I had given up on God.

Monday, June 21, 2010

For Meredith



I am a strong person,
I have been through so much,
I have become so accustomed to going at it alone,
Please understand that I do want you by my side,

Taking one day at a time,
Doing my best to let you in,
Working on letting go of my deepest fears,
Grateful for the patience you have displayed up to this point,

I am healing this heart,
You have tried so hard to help me mend those wounds,
Coming to the realizations that letting go is what is best,
Trusting that you will pick me up if I fall back down,

Turning a new page in this relationship every day,
Willing to learn from my mistakes in the past,
Wanting to take you by the hand and move forward,
Maybe it is your shoulder I should seek to rest my head on once in a while,

Oh how part of me wishes we could start over,
And yet I do not think I really would,
The trouble that we have been through together is only going to make us stronger,
Such an appreciation I have in my heart for the experiences we have had,

I want to let you in,
The ability to be vulnerable with you is something I do not want to fear,
I want to provide you with the safety and comfort that you are yearning for,
I want to show you in better ways the love I truly have for you,

Thank you for encouraging me to take this journey,
Thank you for being my crutch to lean on,
I want to return the favor,
I just want to be with you.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

The Power of the Focus Wheel



I was taught a technique a while back on how to help improve my mood in regards to any single situation, thought, or mood. The basis behind this technique is being completely honest with where you currently stand on the situation, which for me was the hardest part.

Subjects often covered for people using this technique are: money, relationships, health, career, family, and so on. When I first started using this technique I would use very broad subjects, and I as I worked with it more and felt more comfortable I soon was able to get very specific. This technique is called focus wheeling and I either do them on paper (which really is a lot more effective and fun for me) or simply go over it in my head.

The basis of this technique is to help assist in “feeling” better about any number of subjects. This is not a quest to become eternally happy (without the down’s we would not be able to know the up’s)but rather a practice of acknowledging that you do not feel quite right about something and then gradually working yourself to a better feeling place.

A great author Debbie Ford (suggested reading The Shadow Effect &Why Good People Do Bad Things) has this wonderful analogy for feelings and either dealing with them or not dealing with them. She refers to this analogy as the beach ball effect. The beach ball effect talks about stuffing our feelings inside of us raher than dealing with them as they arise. Every time we have a feeling or an emotion (the terms are interchangeable) it is for a reason. For many of us when we have feelings that we perceive to be negative we tend to bundle them up. This is where the beach ball comes in, imagine trying to hold a beach ball underwater(call the first beach ball shame), at first it can be an easy task. But then add more situations that create fear, unworthiness, anger and so on. After a short time it becomes impossible and the beach balls are going to make it back to the surface. These beach balls show up in numerous ways, ill-health (in my case terrible migraines or a back injury), fights with a spouse, or overwhelming debt. If you ignore your feelings and do not deal with them, they get bigger. The longer you ignore them the more power they have until eventual they explode and you are faced with a situation that finally forces you to deal with those feelings. It is imperative that we deal with our emotions when they arise (something I am learning more and more) rather than try to hold that beach ball under the water.

A focus wheel is a technique that allows you to deal with those negative emotions when they arise. Whether you are annoyed with a co-worker, feelings poor from the lack of money in your bank account or depressed over the loss of a loved one, a focus wheel can be a great tool to help shift your energy to a better feeling place.

Below I am going to share a focus wheel I did this morning:

The first part is to write down a statement that sums up the subject you are feeling negative emotion about: I am feeling a little worried about the lack of money in my bank account

This statement is very important. The statement allows you to be honest with yourself and really get in touch with the heart of the matter. Trying to be as specific as possible is helpful but if you are new to doing to focus wheel statements as simple as: “I want more money,” are a great place to start.
The second part is then coming up with a statement of what you would like to see happen, write it as if it is already true for you.

My statement looked like this: When I look at my bank account I am filled with feelings of comfort and security.

*Notice I did not specifically ask for more money in my statement. The purpose to the focus wheel is to get in touch with your feelings, therefore I am looking to feel more secure and comfortable with my finances not to have money magically appear in my account.

When you are able to get to the feeling place of what it is that you desire, the manifestation (or physical creation) does not become as important. Let the universe take care of the rest, just trying to feel better is such an important first step.
The final step is to write statements (in my case between 10-12) that allow you to move into that feeling place of what it is that I am looking for.

Here are my eleven statements:

1. I am open and receptive to all of the abundance in the universe.

2. Money is an energy and by being open to it and expecting it to come my way the universe will continue to provide me with what it is I am asking for.

3. I am abundant in so many other ways, I have a wonderful house, a nice car, live in a beautiful area, have a wife that cares about me, I am able to easily find more things that show my worth that simply the money in my savings account.

4. Using my focusing power to feel wealthy where I am at, is exactly what it takes to bring me into a better feeling place with money.

5. I am very pleased with all of the positive effort that I have put forth into bringing even more abundance into my life.

6. Money is able to come to me from many different sources and I am open and receptive to all of them.

7. I am very strong, healthy and in my good health I am thinking positive thoughts and with my positive thoughts I am more open to other desires that I have.

8. Working on a focus wheel and mediation in the morning is really a great way to start the day off right.

9. I often look around me and can easily find reasons to feel abundant in everything that I do.

10. I am truly blessed and have never been poor and realizing that I will always have what I need is truly a very comforting feeling.

11. I take comfort knowing I am preparing myself for financial success by reading books, attending financial classes, contributing to my retirement and focusing on being prepared.

The statements you make are a tool to improve your mood. You do not need to go from a feeling of despair to one of pure joy, but you will notice your feelings are shifting towards a more positive matter. In my case I did not specifically just focus on money because that can bring up some negative emotion for me. Instead I put myself in a better feeling place about abundance as a whole and I am now better prepared to handle situations and discussions that have to do with money.

After a focus wheel I immediately go into meditation and try to hold onto those improved feelings I have just created. As Buddha says “All that we are is a result of what we have thought.” Therefore can you not see the value in trying to directly focus your attention specifically on those improved feelings you have just created.

A focus wheel is such a valuable tool to me, the more I have used them the more I have literally felt my energy in my body shift. I have felt my mood improve on many different levels. There is no doubt in my mind that I get what I think about. My feelings and emotions are a direct reflection of what my life has become. And as I have dealt with and found more and more ways to feel better on a wide variety of subjects my life has continued to improve. I have made peace with many things from my past(and still struggle with some) and am striving to become a better person. I am so grateful I have found this simple technique and hope it may offer some help to those who are looking for it.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

The 5 Steps To Peace


Peace will be attained when we, as human beings...

Permit ourselves to acknowledge that some of our old beliefs about God and about Life are no longer working.

Explore the possibility that there is something we do not understand about God and about Life, the understanding of which could change everything.

Announce that we are willing for new understandings of God and Life to now be brought forth, understandings that could produce a new way of life on this planet.

Courageously examine these new understandings and, if they align with our personal inner truth and knowing, enlarge our belief system to include them.

Express our lives as a demonstration of our highest beliefs, rather than as a denial of them.

Excerpt from The New Revelations: A Conversation with God by Neale Donald

Saturday, May 22, 2010



Life is a pure flame,
and we live by an invisible sun within us.
Sir Thomas Brown


Well I got up this morning and had two puppies laying on me and sharing their love. I had a puppy cuddle up next to me last night and keep me warm. My dogs represent unconditional love, they are the ultimate role models. My dogs are a source of inspiration for me. I try to take that love they give to me and share it with everyone else. Dog’s do not care what color my skin is, how much money I make, or what my political or spiritual views are. Dogs (really animals in general) are a gift from God. They are here to remind us that love is the answer and when I start my morning off with a puppy in my lap it is easy to remember that God is right. Feeling loved and giving love when I first wake up helps me lay a foundation to have a day filled with more.

I brewed some coffee this morning and the smell of it is a heavenly aroma for me. It tickles my senses and reminds me that I am alive. As I stumble down the stairs early in the morning the world is not quite awake yet. Nothing starts my day off better than a kitchen filled with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee.

As I opened the patio door to allow my fury friends to do the morning business the birds are just beginning to wake up. I love waking up with the world, it feels so right to me. Watching the morning fog start to retreat, seeing the sun beginning to poke his head out over the mountains and saying goodnight to the moon are all reasons I enjoy getting up early in the morning.

After I take a few deep breaths of the fresh crisp outdoor air, I feel inside that it is time to go within and tend to my soul. My soul will never impose its will on me, but I do know that when I close my eyes, breath deep and just let go I will see, feel and know that my morning meditation ritual is the reason my life has become so meaningful. Meditation has given me an entirely new perspective on life, I have seen my purpose. I have felt the love and compassion and am excited to give it back.
Upon opening my eyes I am inspired to write so I sit down on my computer, coffee in hand and begin to tap into my creative side and write. What shall I write about today I often find myself wondering. Shall I try to compose a poem, perhaps scribe some affirmations to keep this good attitude going or maybe I will just write and see where my “muse” takes me.

My senses become more and more alive with every passing second. I know at this time in the day, that there is so much more to life then what I see, taste, touch, hear and smell. At this time of day it is obvious to me that life is about how I feel. My emotions are the greatest sense I have.

The way I feel is such an important sense to me. My emotions are something I am striving to never ignore. For my “gut” will never let me down. This morning “FEELS” good to me and that is a sign from God that I am on the right track today. I can feel love from my dogs, I can feel joy as the sun rises and I can feel the optimism as I sit here and write and put myself in a good feeling place before my day truly takes off.

This is a wonderful way to wake up. I am not worried about what needs to get done today, I can save that for later. I am not thinking about next week, or yesterday, I am finding reasons to stay focused in the present. What is true for me right now. I know that if something is bothering me or I feel bad about something that I can and do have the power to change the way I feel. I am not bound by my situations or feelings, I am in control and I decide how I feel.

I am filled with feelings of gratitude, optimism and hope. I am grateful that I have learned how valuable it is to put myself in a good feeling place before I start my day. I am optimistic that by taking these few moments early in the morning that I will have a great day, and when those bumps in the road do come along I am better prepared to handle them. I am hopeful that every day will continue to get better and better.

I am happy to be alive, I am happy to be a child of a God. I am truly grateful for this experience I have chosen to have. I am mentally, physically and spiritual ready to handle my day now. I am not scared or overwhelmed by how much I have to do today, because I know I have taken the time to get myself ready for whatever today might bring. So I say to you world, “Bring it on cause I can handle it.”

Sunday, May 16, 2010


Dream big today,
Today we make great things happen,
How wonderful it is to be aware that the Universe is on my side,
How exciting it is to know that life is suppose to be fun.

I have the inspiration in my body,
I have felt the chills in my spine,
I have been shown the path,
Wish I could show the clarity in my mind,

Unexplainable feelings that take my breath away,
Well-being all around,
Words flowing through me like a river,
This vortex has drawn me in and I never want to leave,

Saturday, May 8, 2010


As a personal trainer I have worked with clients from all walks of life. I have trained clients who struggle with weight loss, clients who are elderly, and clients who have suffered back, knee or shoulder injuries.
The one thing they have in common is they all come to me with a vision in their head of how they want their experience training with me to go. Many are seeking weight loss, while others are seeking relief from pain and some simply want a more effective way to workout.
The most challenging and rewarding part of my job is helping clients realize one major point: I want them to understand the difference between being healthy and having a body look the way it is desired to look.
I do not want anyone to think that are limits to how much a person can change their body if the desire and determination are strong enough. As a matter of fact having a “perfect image” can serve as a means of motivation to help an individual meet their goals. The key is to remember that often we are our own worst critics. We as individuals see ourselves everyday and it is very easy to criticize ourselves. This is self-sabotage and we need to find ways to embrace our bodies more.
In so many cases, I have had clients lose an enormous amount of weight or completely reshape their hips and butt and not give credit where credit is due. They work so hard and rather than focus on the changes they made they still become frustrated when not yet being where they desire. I want people to embrace the journey, learn to compliment themselves and take pride in the fact that they are doing the best they can, with an attitude the like the that, the results are sure to follow.
Often we as a society will hold ourselves to an unattainable standard and then are crushed or let down when we do not reach it. With Hollywood, professional sports, and models many of us have lost touch with what it means to truly be healthy. Furthermore with shows like “The Biggest Loser” instilling false hope and ideas like it is a good idea to lose 30 lbs in one week, it is no wonder Americans are not sure what is healthy.
There is an old saying, do not judge a book by its cover. Do not assume that just because a person on TV has the great hair, the tight tummy or the perfect smile that they are healthy. These are all visual judgments we make and say nothing to the many other aspects of being healthy. This is simply having a body type that the majority of society deems as pleasing. Obviously those with the trim, thin body probably are in shape but are they healthy? I know 300 pound people who can survive one of my hour long workouts and I know people who are trim, and could not make it 10 minutes with me.
Many individual will go to extreme lengths or take short cuts in their quest for a “better body.” Diet pills, crash diets and now even the lap band surgery are all perfect examples. None of these make the person healthier they are instead merely applying a band-aid to a wound that will surely grow. By using vices to try to achieve something that simply requires hard work, determination and persistence will eventually come back and bite you.
Furthermore do not assume that what we see on TV is how our bodies are suppose to or have to look. Shapes and sizes of bodies come in about as many style as we have cars to choose from.
Some bodies are predisposed to be tall or short, some are more likely to be hefty or skinny, some are more apple shaped and some are more pear shaped. The diversity of shapes and sizes are something we should embrace and behold. For if we all looked the same, visual stimulation would surely lose its appeal fast.
All bodies are beautiful, and when we embrace what God has given us we can truly become a healthier person. When we admit that there is something we do not like about our body we hinder our ability to change it. Instead do your best to come to peace with where you are at, believe that you are beautiful and then decide to change it. Changing it does not mean you do not like it, it simply means you are deciding to express yourself in a new version.
My definition of a healthy person would be: a healthy person is someone who is in balance with the universe. I believe there are three parts to everyone one of us, the mind, the body and the spirit. Neglect to one or any of the parts will interfere with your ability to experience perfect health.
In regards to our mental health, did you know the average American watches over 4 hours of TV a day. History channel or not watching, that much TV serves as absolutely no mental stimulation. Our mind is an amazing tool we have been given and when it is used correctly all of us have the potential to accomplish anything.
We should write poetry, take photos and perhaps even learn to play a musical instrument. Learning a foreign language, taking a college course or doing the sodku in the Sunday paper are all great ways to challenge the mind. Expressing ourselves in a creative manner is the best exercise you can give a mind. Our minds are hungry and the more we feed them the healthier we will become.
Our physical health is a vital component to our overall sense of well being. Exercise should serve as a foundation paired up with a balanced diet. Every single person should exercise. I read a quote once that said, “With everything we know about the benefits of exercise, people should have to get a doctor’s note not to exercise.”Nothing could be more true, exercise is a crucial component of a healthy life.
Not everyone needs to look like Brad Pitt or Heidi Klum but it is absolutely essential that we give as much attention to our bodies as we do our cars. It is scary but true, most Americans take better care of their cars than their bodies. This is not meant to be a spanking on America, but we know fast food is bad for us and we eat it, we know smoking causes cancer and we do it, and we know we should exercise but many of us do not. I have heard every excuse in the book, when you begin to get healthier you would not dream of ignoring the body’s physical needs.
The body is like a well oiled machine and when you forget to grease the gears things are going to start to malfunction. We suffer from obesity, diabetes, stiff joints and heart disease just to name a few. Not exercising your body is unwise and unfair. When we do not exercise our body many organs such as the heart and lungs have to work twice as hard to do the most simple tasks. No one should every get winded walking up a flight of stairs.
Not everyone needs to spend 2 hours in the gym every night, there is an appropriate way to express our bodies physically for everyone. Whether it is pounding the weights, swimming in the lake or walking with the kids in the stroller, we can all find ways to exercise.
When we do not care for our bodies we are limiting our abilities to truly express ourselves. God created our bodies, God created our minds and God created our souls. If we ignore any aspect of this threesome we are essentially ignoring God. For when the mind, the body and the soul are fully cared for our potential for success in every aspect of life is further enhanced.
Whether you go to a church or a temple, pray before dinner or meditate before breakfast, taking time everyday to be in touch with that you believe to be holy is crucial.
Our spirit plays an equal and important part in our overall sense of being healthy. Our soul is our guidance, our soul is that little guy on your shoulder helping you make smart choices, and our soul is our connection to God. It serves all of us very well to pay attention to the spirit that has been placed within us.
Our emotions are indicators from our soul, and from our God. If we are partaking in something that brings us feelings of joy, happiness and/or acceptance we are on the right path. If we are feeling sad, angry or scared, that is an important sign from God that you are doing something that your soul does not agree with. Example: when we criticize and judge others, often that will create an emotion within us that represents negativity. Therefore, if we acknowledge that we are feeling bad we then have the power to change it. No one likes to feel bad and using your emotions as a guidance system we can find ways to quickly release that negative energy.
On the contrary when you are doing something positive you feel it. Have you ever looked at a new born baby and had an overwhelming sense of love or joy fill every fiber of your being. Those are good emotions, those are signs from God that you are being the happy, positive being you are suppose to be.
We as humans are a three part system: mind, body and spirit. Those who wish to embrace this idea and hold it dear will find out very quickly that this is the true key to happiness. Many of us desire to have six pack abs and chiseled arms, and that is a noble desire. It is important to remember though, we are perfect where we are at and we should take care of our bodies not because we want them to look better but because our health is a vital component to happiness. Challenging our mind and nurturing our soul is just as important. Combine the three and watch your health really take off.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Examples of the belief in the Law Of Attraction


From the bible to the Buddha, from famous actors such as Will Smith to the greatest minds like Albert Einstein here is a compilation of just a few examples on the existence of the law of attraction.

You create your own universe as you go along –Winston Churchill

I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High. Psalm 82:6

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him. –Buddha

Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions. –Einstein

As a man thinketh, so he is. –Proverbs 23:7

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls-Joseph Campbell

Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can" -Richard Bach
"When you visualize, then you materialize. If you've been there in the mind you'll go there in the body" -Dr Denis Waitley

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right" - Henry Ford

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step." -Dr Martin Luther King Jr

"I believe that you're great, that there's something magnificent about you. Regardless of what has happened to you in your life, regardless of how young or how old you think you might be, the moment you begin to think properly, this something that is within you, this power within you that's greater than the world, it will begin to emerge. It will take over your life. It will feed you, it will clothe you, it will guide you, protect you, direct you, sustain your very existence. If you let it! Now that is what I know, for sure" - Michael Beckwith

"Whatever it is you are feeling is a perfect reflection of what you are in the process of becoming" - Esther Hicks - Abraham

Make no mistake: God will not be mocked, for a person will reap only what he sows.
- Galatians 6:7

Greatness is something that truly exists in all of us. –Will Smith

You are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold. That is how important you are! –Eckhart Tolle

What this power is, I cannot say. All I know is that it exists. –Alexander Graham Bell

The universe has more than enough to give everybody –Oprah

Moreover, God is able to make every grace abundant for you, so that in all things, always having all you need; you may have abundance for every good work.
-Corinthians 9:8

The secret is the answer to all that has been, all that is, and all that will ever be. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

As you have believed, let it be done for you - Matthew 8:13

Saturday, April 24, 2010

A few ideas to have a better day!


I just wanted to take a few moments and share with you some of the ideas I have incorporated into my own life that I feel have done wonders to improve my quality of life and overall sense of well being.


1. Upon waking up, find a reason to appreciate. Thoughts of appreciation can do wonders for getting the day off to a good start.
a. For example, thank God for the restful night of sleep just experienced and ask for another.
b. Take a second to feel the comfort of your bed, the softness of the pillows and the cool air that fills a bedroom early in the morning.
c. Thank your higher power if you woke up next to someone you love, or find comfort in the fact that you have friends and family that care about you.

If you have ever gotten out of bed and felt like you woke up on the wrong side of it, you are prepaving the events and circumstances of your day to unravel out in such a way that is going to reflect that exact statement. If you take a few seconds upon waking up and find simple reasons to feel good, the day you will experience has a far greater chance of going well. Not necessarily because you will have all these wonderful things happening that day, but because you have prepared you mind and your soul to look at the up side of a situation rather than the down side, and with enough practice one will be able to do this in all situations.

2. Communicate with your higher power as early in the morning as possible. Whether you kneel by your bedside or sit in the lotus position, regardless of how you practice your spirituality do so when you wake up.
a. Using your higher power to your benefit is the whole point of having a higher power to worship in the first place.
b. Getting in touch with yourself that early helps remind us that the everyday stresses we all face really are not that important. With a strong enough determination we can remember this simple point throughout our entire day.
c. When we truly trust in our higher power we will always be guided to what serves us best that day. We are never alone and always have the guidance that we may need available to us at any moment.

3. Exercise in the morning if possible. Exercise in the morning has many potential benefits over evening exercise. Although exercise anytime of the day you have an opportunity still serves great benefit.
a. Morning exercise provides the benefit of boosting the metabolism for several hours throughout the day. For those who work in an office morning exercise is by far the best option when seeking weight loss results. Clients of mine have routinely reported back to me that they are more inclined to pay attention to their diet after getting up early and working so hard. It holds them responsible so to speak, because they just worked so hard and it would not make a lot of sense to go get a giant cream filled coffee drink or a sandwich from McDonalds.
Another great reason for exercise in the morning is the substantial release of adrenaline, and other endorphins that are related to providing the body with a natural high. In regards to those I train in the morning more often report enjoying their job, having better relationships and exude the ability to handle stressful situations more effectively.

4. Do your best to eat a clean diet. A clean diet does not mean you need to eat tofu and broccoli all day but it does mean you need to take an honest look at what you are putting into your mouth and see what benefits it is serving you.
Our bodies our amazing, we fill them with things such as preservatives, sugars and nitrates. We get vaccines that are filled with substances that have no purpose in the human body, and in some cases certain vaccines have been proven to actually hinder the body’s natural abilities to heal.
We take prescription medications some times when simply reducing our salt intake can have the same effect.
We buy food in mass quantities, where the quality is taken out in order to make a profit, not to mention the horrible treatment these animals endure simply so we can stuff our faces. Or the mass produced vegetables that in some cases have been shown to have 1/7 the nutritional value of the produce from your local organic farm.
Have you looked at the dairy industry lately, they inject steroids into the cows in order to force their bodies to produce more milk. Nature has its way and when you force anything the result will never be as good as the way nature meant for it to be.
So what is one to do in regards to the diet? Just take a few simple steps and see how quickly you can FEEL the difference in your body.
a. Your diet should consist of fresh organic fruits, vegetables and lean protein sources. Complex carbohydrates such as whole grain pasta and steel cut oatmeal are great examples.
b. Consider alternative to vaccines, do some research from both western and eastern perspectives and then decide. You do not have to get a shot just because your doctor recommends it.
c. Research medications a doctor has you on, I have nothing against medications, they have served wonders for many people, but a medication covers up the problem. If you do some research you may be able to find a natural alternative to help. For example many doctors suggest blood pressure medication to lower ones BP. However in several cases with people I train with a good exercise program, reduced sodium intake and the addition of many highly anti-oxidant berries (gogi, mangosteen, acai) they have been able to get off the meds. The doctors have taken notice and my clients report to me that their doctors are very happy with the progress I have helped them achieve.
d. Avoid sugars, excess salt, preservatives and nitrates. Sugar is probably the worst. Sugar for one makes us fat, it also hinders the function of many major organs and interferes with body’s “fight or flight” response making rational decisions quite tricky sometimes.
Remember food is fun and it is just fine to have a cookie or drink a beer from time to time, but our bodies our highly complicated machines and deserve to be treated with the upmost respect. I find it amusing that most common complaint is that eating a healthy diet is too expensive. Eating healthy is not expensive, it just requires planning. Go to your local farmers market for produce and see how you can save money and support your local economy.
The biggest irony I find in this is that most Americans are ridden with debt, we are willing to take out credit for cars and homes. We like having big screen TV’s that cost thousands but are not willing to spend an extra dollar on a gallon of milk to ensure that it has no hormones and/or steroids in it.
I believe as our society evolves at some point fast food and candy will be a thing of the past because we will realize the harm it is doing to our bodies.
5. Finally I am a firm believer that the best way to get anything you want in life is to give it to another.

If you are sad, bring joy to another who is sad and see how it makes you feel. Show compassion to someone in need or show love to someone who is angry and see if you day does not in fact feel better.
Do a random act of kindness and see what it does for your day. I believe in my heart that if everyone did one single act of random kindness a day we could rid the world of poverty, war, and violence.
Open a door for someone carrying many bags, pick a piece of trash of the ground, give praise to a co-worker or a loved one. The momentum will build and the world will have to take note.
Doing random acts of kindness is doing the work of God, we are all one and when we start acting like it on a regular basis life for all of us can and will get better.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I am here for you



You are ready to move on,
Do not fear for I know you are prepared,
You can take the next step,
I will catch you if you fall

When you reach out to me I will be there,
Look for me and I will come,
Trust in me for I am always close,
Believe in me for I will never let you down,

Consider the possibilities,
Accept that you are worthy,
Have faith in your desires,
And put desire into your faith,

Don’t be afraid to turn to me,
My love is unconditional,
I am here for you always,
I am here for you now.
-February 4, 2010

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


It is different for all of us,
We all came here to experience something,
Eventually we all will walk the same path,
It does not matter how long it takes we are all headed in the same direction,

We can all understand the logic,
It is no surprise to some,
It will work for you if you merely test it,
Take a chance and see where it goes,

The path will light up once you relax,
It is much easier than we make it out to be,
We are not being tested, the struggle is not real,
So do your best to go with the flow.

-Anthony Munkholm
Feb 9, 2010

Saturday, April 10, 2010


I cannot express in words how important and beneficial I feel it is to do your best to find yourself in a state of feeling joy first and then going about your day.
Joy and love are feelings/words that can be interchanged in any thought and when I do my best to see through the eyes of love first I am going with what my soul knows is right.
I am doing my best not to judge others who see the world differently than me but instead I am attempting to understand their perspective. I need not agree with their point of view but there is great value in appreciating the diversity of our thoughts that allows us as a species to continue to expand.
When I find reasons to feel good before engaging anyone or any subject I know I feel strongly about I am more likely to be receptive to others who see it differently.
When I find myself feeling anger, resentment or frustration towards another that is a very important signal from within that I am resisting what my soul knows is right. In these moments I try to ask myself, “What would love do?” For when we use anger to engage others are true ability to rationalize and draw logical conclusions is almost always lost.
Love does not get mad that someone sees it different, love does not start to criticize and belittle others when they have a different point of view. Love understands that we are all entitled to our own beliefs and accepting that there are other ways to see things does not mean we must conform. Acceptance means we are willing to give others the respect they deserve and opens the doors to a greater understanding for all involved.
Some would call this tolerance, but tolerance is not a place I want to be either, for in my tolerating of another that I disagree with I am still feeling negative emotions. Rather than tolerate, I choose to try to understand what it is that would bring them to those conclusions.
In an attempt to truly understand another’s beliefs without casting judgment we allow ourselves the ability to find peaceful resolutions to anything. Furthermore when we do our best to comprehend another’s beliefs, that honest effort can do wonders in releasing any tension that may have started to build.
Do your best to appreciate the opinions of others for in your mode of appreciation it is easier to talk about complex issues in a civilized manner.
When we believe that there is benefit in truly honoring another’s feelings, suddenly diversity does not seem so scary but instead we can embrace the fact that our soul offers us the greatest freedom of all. For within our soul we will always find are highest truth and the ability to feel and think any way we choose. Within our soul we will discover that no one is ever truly right or wrong.
This simple idea of listening to another’s point of view with an open heart can and will bring peace to a household. And when that household practices with true intention this easy process the results will be undeniable. Arguments will cease to exist, confrontation will become a thing of that past and from that point forward love and understanding will always come first.
Our neighbors will take note and the change will come. It is not our job to change the beliefs of anyone but instead work within ourselves to welcome the views of everyone.
The diversity of thought on this planet is one of the greatest gift we as humans have ever been given. For within the diversity of thought springs forth so many new ideas. And these ideas are the reason that life on this planet continues to get better and better.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Yes you are worthy,
Yes you are worthy of being loved,
Yes you are worthy of having eternal happiness,
Yes you are worthy of having all of your dreams come true,

I believe you deserve to get everything that you want,
I believe you deserve to wake up with a smile on your face and be excited about your day,
You can be able to see the value of yourself if you desire,
You can enjoy the now and not worry about tomorrow,

You came here to sift through contrast and decide which it is you prefer,
You came here as an extension of something so great that you can never truly be alone,
You came here by choice to experience it all, the good the bad, the ups, the downs,
You came here knowing that there is nothing you have to do,

We made the choice to know there is nothing that we have to prove to anyone,
We have been assured there is no struggle you must go through in order to prove that you are worthy,
We have chosen to know that no matter what we do, we will always be loved,
We know that there is goodness in all of us,

Be encouraged to trust in yourself,
Be proud of who you are,
Be guided by the spirit that you feel,
Be true to your feelings for your feelings are the most important tool that you have.

Anthony Munkholm
April 6 2010

Sunday, April 4, 2010

An uplifting message for Easter


Everyone has a wonderful gift to offer to humanity and it is the person/s who steps back and looks at the whole picture that will benefit the most.
Have you ever asked yourself what is my gift?
This is a wonderful question that when taken seriously can bring forth some feelings from within that will help us realize how we are all connected. Your gift does not have to be something on a global scale, the mother who hugs her child, the person who rescues a dog or the one who gives a dollar to a homeless man are all offering great gifts.
All our gifts are important and no single gift has more value than the other.
People like The Buddha and Jesus Christ had a wonderful gift of helping others find solutions to incredible circumstances. They had a certain way about them that people would come from thousands of miles away just to get a glimpse of. Jesus and the Buddha inspired people to heal their bodies, to get over immense grief and they encouraged us all to love and care for each other.
Jump ahead a few thousand years and you can look around and see that those traits have never been lost. Today we have wonderful nurses who stay up all night, putting their own troubles on hold to try to comfort someone in the middle of a painful delivery. Nurses wait on patients hand and foot, doing everything from assisting in life saving procedures, to helping a person eat to lending an open heart to someone in need. You need to only spend one night in a hospital with a compassionate nurse to see the similarities of Jesus in these care takers.
We have wonderful teachers who put their own financial desires on hold to try to help a young boy/girl reach their fullest potential. We have teachers who are working in classrooms filled with 40 students, we have teachers spending their own money on supplies, and we have teachers who are staying after their shift to help a young student understand a complex topic. When you find or know a teacher who is going above and beyond do us all a favor and thank them for their wonderful gift they are giving society.
The firemen and policeman of this world offer us a sense of security and comfort. For when we lay down our heads on our pillows at night we can rest assured with a simple phone call we can have help on the way. What a gorgeous gift these men/women offer, they are willing to put their own lives on the line in order to better serve humanity.
All of us have a great gift to offer, if you have ever smiled at a stranger or opened a door for someone whose hands are full you are doing the work of God. If you have picked a piece of trash off the ground or donated money to a charity you are doing the work we know is right.
Simply listen to your heart and all of us will be able to find our gift. When we focus on these gifts we can lift the spirits of the entire planet.
The Universe is based on well being and when we go with the stream and do what we know is right the benefit we give to ourselves and others is the greatest gift of all.