The creative outlet of Anthony Munkholm: thanks for reading

Healing through my words:

Life doesn't give you the people you want,
it gives you the people you need:
to love you, to hate you, to make you, to break you, & to make you the person you were meant to be. -unknown

Love can and will come to those who still believe in it. Hope is the key. Even when faced with disappointment love will still find a way. Even after betrayal love will still knock on your door. Love will come to those who have been hurt before. I will never give up on love. I will even love those who no longer love me. Love is all there is and all there ever will be. -me

I believe I have been given an opportunity to share my successes and my struggles, my up's and my down's, the good and the bad with those who find their way to my blog. I feel I have been given a gift to write. I feel in my heart part of my gift to the world comes through my words. My greatest joy comes through expressing myself here. I write for myself but I feel compelled to share it with you too. I believe in love, compassion, and understanding which I share here.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Why I choose FAITH

After an incredibly in-depth conversation with a dear friend of mine recently I have been inspired to write about faith.

The basis of much of our conversations was based on how could I choose faith? Why do I believe in hope? How do I see the good in those that may not even see it in themselves?

I choose to believe that FAITH stands for Finding Answers In The Heart. I believe that I decide how I feel. I believe that if I continue to practice my meditation and stay committed to living in the now my heart will give me everything that I need.

When I am sad, anger, ANXIOUS, I believe the energy inside of me is trying to get my attention. I believe that I am in control of my anxiety and ever since I put my foot down I do not lose as much.

I choose to have FAITH because in my darkest hour, when I thought my family and friends had given up on me, I discovered I was not alone. I felt the presence of something so great I knew it was important to go on. I knew that I was not finished yet. I knew that no amount of science could answer what I felt; I knew that it was all that there is. I saw my place, I understood my purpose, and I took my head out of the clouds, saw the sun and knew why I was here.

I choose to have FAITH because I am willing to admit that there are things I just do not understand. I have FAITH because I see the signs when I pay attention. I have FATIH because I have seen the clues, felt the presence, and got glimpses of it in action. I have FAITH because I understand and am willing to admit that I have not evolved to the point that I can truly grasp all parts of my existence.

I choose to have FAITH because I believe everyone is doing the best that they can. I choose to have FAITH because I know there are those that do not. I stay strong and committed to my FAITH because I want to be a light for those who are trapped in the dark.

I have FAITH because I believe there is way more to life than what is in front of our faces. I believe there is more to life then what our brains can conceive. I have FAITH because some things are not meant to be explained.

I choose to have FAITH because without it I felt alone. I choose to have FAITH because when I abandoned it my life felt harder. I choose to have FAITH because it turns out I have always had everything I need.

My FAITH comforts me when I am sad, my FAITH pats me on the back when I am down or lost, my FAITH is strong enough that I can stay committed to it in the face of adversity. In some of my darkest hours when many would question if this were just a bunch of bullshit for weak-minded people I found the strength to push on.

I found the perseverance to say that Yes I can make it through this, that there was a reason I went to war, saw extreme violence, went through my parents divorce, grew up poor, got lost in drugs, had my heart broken over and over, I came out on top. It does not matter what happened yesterday because today I found FAITH I found a reason to feel good, I found a reason to believe, what can be more beautiful than that?

I have FAITH because I can still find a reason to smile. I have FAITH because even when things are tough I can feel good about something. I have hope that if I hold onto the positives in my life the bad will work its way out. I have FAITH because when I listen to my emotions they tell me what I need to do.

I have hope for those who do not have FAITH. I am not here to throw it upon them; tell them that they are wrong or lost; everyone takes their own journey. I have FAITH for those who have been stepped on, those who have been taken advantage of, those who have been beaten down, those who feel lost, those who want to give up, those who just cant believe; because I want to share my faith. Because it may just be too hard to admit or believe that there could be FAITH when life just keeps shitting on them, that is why I have FAITH.

I have FAITH because I want them to know they are never alone. I am full of FAITH because even as I listen to stories from those who have none I see the twinkle in their eye. I see the yearning of their soul; I can feel their energy. I have FAITH because I know when they ask they will be answered. I have FAITH because if they do not find it this time they will get to try again. I have FAITH because I do not believe you ever lose in this game. I will never judge those for not having FAITH for I had lost mine too. They decide if they want faith, if they need faith, it may not be for everyone, hell it may not even be real.

I am not worried if FAITH is real for when I go within my heart sings, and if that is wrong, or not real I do not care.

In your times of struggle you can turn to me, I will be strong for you, I will let you know that you are special; I will be here for you. I love all of you.