Monday, June 21, 2010
I am a strong person,
I have been through so much,
I have become so accustomed to going at it alone,
Please understand that I do want you by my side,
Taking one day at a time,
Doing my best to let you in,
Working on letting go of my deepest fears,
Grateful for the patience you have displayed up to this point,
I am healing this heart,
You have tried so hard to help me mend those wounds,
Coming to the realizations that letting go is what is best,
Trusting that you will pick me up if I fall back down,
Turning a new page in this relationship every day,
Willing to learn from my mistakes in the past,
Wanting to take you by the hand and move forward,
Maybe it is your shoulder I should seek to rest my head on once in a while,
Oh how part of me wishes we could start over,
And yet I do not think I really would,
The trouble that we have been through together is only going to make us stronger,
Such an appreciation I have in my heart for the experiences we have had,
I want to let you in,
The ability to be vulnerable with you is something I do not want to fear,
I want to provide you with the safety and comfort that you are yearning for,
I want to show you in better ways the love I truly have for you,
Thank you for encouraging me to take this journey,
Thank you for being my crutch to lean on,
I want to return the favor,
I just want to be with you.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
I was taught a technique a while back on how to help improve my mood in regards to any single situation, thought, or mood. The basis behind this technique is being completely honest with where you currently stand on the situation, which for me was the hardest part.
Subjects often covered for people using this technique are: money, relationships, health, career, family, and so on. When I first started using this technique I would use very broad subjects, and I as I worked with it more and felt more comfortable I soon was able to get very specific. This technique is called focus wheeling and I either do them on paper (which really is a lot more effective and fun for me) or simply go over it in my head.
The basis of this technique is to help assist in “feeling” better about any number of subjects. This is not a quest to become eternally happy (without the down’s we would not be able to know the up’s)but rather a practice of acknowledging that you do not feel quite right about something and then gradually working yourself to a better feeling place.
A great author Debbie Ford (suggested reading The Shadow Effect &Why Good People Do Bad Things) has this wonderful analogy for feelings and either dealing with them or not dealing with them. She refers to this analogy as the beach ball effect. The beach ball effect talks about stuffing our feelings inside of us raher than dealing with them as they arise. Every time we have a feeling or an emotion (the terms are interchangeable) it is for a reason. For many of us when we have feelings that we perceive to be negative we tend to bundle them up. This is where the beach ball comes in, imagine trying to hold a beach ball underwater(call the first beach ball shame), at first it can be an easy task. But then add more situations that create fear, unworthiness, anger and so on. After a short time it becomes impossible and the beach balls are going to make it back to the surface. These beach balls show up in numerous ways, ill-health (in my case terrible migraines or a back injury), fights with a spouse, or overwhelming debt. If you ignore your feelings and do not deal with them, they get bigger. The longer you ignore them the more power they have until eventual they explode and you are faced with a situation that finally forces you to deal with those feelings. It is imperative that we deal with our emotions when they arise (something I am learning more and more) rather than try to hold that beach ball under the water.
A focus wheel is a technique that allows you to deal with those negative emotions when they arise. Whether you are annoyed with a co-worker, feelings poor from the lack of money in your bank account or depressed over the loss of a loved one, a focus wheel can be a great tool to help shift your energy to a better feeling place.
Below I am going to share a focus wheel I did this morning:
The first part is to write down a statement that sums up the subject you are feeling negative emotion about: I am feeling a little worried about the lack of money in my bank account
This statement is very important. The statement allows you to be honest with yourself and really get in touch with the heart of the matter. Trying to be as specific as possible is helpful but if you are new to doing to focus wheel statements as simple as: “I want more money,” are a great place to start.
The second part is then coming up with a statement of what you would like to see happen, write it as if it is already true for you.
My statement looked like this: When I look at my bank account I am filled with feelings of comfort and security.
*Notice I did not specifically ask for more money in my statement. The purpose to the focus wheel is to get in touch with your feelings, therefore I am looking to feel more secure and comfortable with my finances not to have money magically appear in my account.
When you are able to get to the feeling place of what it is that you desire, the manifestation (or physical creation) does not become as important. Let the universe take care of the rest, just trying to feel better is such an important first step.
The final step is to write statements (in my case between 10-12) that allow you to move into that feeling place of what it is that I am looking for.
Here are my eleven statements:
1. I am open and receptive to all of the abundance in the universe.
2. Money is an energy and by being open to it and expecting it to come my way the universe will continue to provide me with what it is I am asking for.
3. I am abundant in so many other ways, I have a wonderful house, a nice car, live in a beautiful area, have a wife that cares about me, I am able to easily find more things that show my worth that simply the money in my savings account.
4. Using my focusing power to feel wealthy where I am at, is exactly what it takes to bring me into a better feeling place with money.
5. I am very pleased with all of the positive effort that I have put forth into bringing even more abundance into my life.
6. Money is able to come to me from many different sources and I am open and receptive to all of them.
7. I am very strong, healthy and in my good health I am thinking positive thoughts and with my positive thoughts I am more open to other desires that I have.
8. Working on a focus wheel and mediation in the morning is really a great way to start the day off right.
9. I often look around me and can easily find reasons to feel abundant in everything that I do.
10. I am truly blessed and have never been poor and realizing that I will always have what I need is truly a very comforting feeling.
11. I take comfort knowing I am preparing myself for financial success by reading books, attending financial classes, contributing to my retirement and focusing on being prepared.
The statements you make are a tool to improve your mood. You do not need to go from a feeling of despair to one of pure joy, but you will notice your feelings are shifting towards a more positive matter. In my case I did not specifically just focus on money because that can bring up some negative emotion for me. Instead I put myself in a better feeling place about abundance as a whole and I am now better prepared to handle situations and discussions that have to do with money.
After a focus wheel I immediately go into meditation and try to hold onto those improved feelings I have just created. As Buddha says “All that we are is a result of what we have thought.” Therefore can you not see the value in trying to directly focus your attention specifically on those improved feelings you have just created.
A focus wheel is such a valuable tool to me, the more I have used them the more I have literally felt my energy in my body shift. I have felt my mood improve on many different levels. There is no doubt in my mind that I get what I think about. My feelings and emotions are a direct reflection of what my life has become. And as I have dealt with and found more and more ways to feel better on a wide variety of subjects my life has continued to improve. I have made peace with many things from my past(and still struggle with some) and am striving to become a better person. I am so grateful I have found this simple technique and hope it may offer some help to those who are looking for it.