The creative outlet of Anthony Munkholm: thanks for reading

Healing through my words:

Life doesn't give you the people you want,
it gives you the people you need:
to love you, to hate you, to make you, to break you, & to make you the person you were meant to be. -unknown

Love can and will come to those who still believe in it. Hope is the key. Even when faced with disappointment love will still find a way. Even after betrayal love will still knock on your door. Love will come to those who have been hurt before. I will never give up on love. I will even love those who no longer love me. Love is all there is and all there ever will be. -me

I believe I have been given an opportunity to share my successes and my struggles, my up's and my down's, the good and the bad with those who find their way to my blog. I feel I have been given a gift to write. I feel in my heart part of my gift to the world comes through my words. My greatest joy comes through expressing myself here. I write for myself but I feel compelled to share it with you too. I believe in love, compassion, and understanding which I share here.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

My Journey Back To God Part VI

Today I have made peace with much of my troubled past. At times I still struggle, sometimes I know that it is much easier to preach then it is to practice. But I am strong and everytime I struggle I am creating the opportunity to create an even brighter future. I am not always Mr. Happy Go Lucky but I have been able to more and more stop myself and ask myself one simple question, “How does this make me feel?”

Our feelings are the greatest gift and tool that we have. They are an indication of how we are doing and what things we can expect to come into our future. Honoring your feelings and dealing with them the moment they arise is the key to happiness.

Do not ignore your feelings for in the ignorance of our feelings we open ourselves up to unwanted things experiences and circumstances. Your soul always knows what it is that we truly want and by going within yourself first and seeing how you feel about a certain situation, person or circumstance you will be guided to your highest truth. And in this highest truth you will find that God is always there and is willing to lend a helping hand.

I think my wife said it very well, "I think everyone makes it harder than it needs to be, its not some big mystery... God loves everyone unconditionally. Mistakes are to be expected and life will be difficult at times. Be patient, other times life requires big decisions, and they may be difficult. There is no point in feeling sorry for yourself, pick yourself up and do what needs to be done to make your life better. Thats all it is, its no big secert, be nice, be generous and persist with patience."

When I began to experience the migraines on a regular basis it never occurred to me that this could be my soul’s way of telling me that there are a lot of things that you are hiding from. My soul did not want me to experience ill health but after years and years of ignoring all the signals the universe was trying to give me the energy finally got too great. Ignoring my feelings of unworthiness caused the energy to continue to build up inside of me. When I started dealing with the problems from my childhood I actually began to get some relief.

The other crucial part for me in relieving myself of this ill health was declaring to myself and the universe that I indeed created these migraines. Not only did I create them but they were truly a great gift from God. For if I never started to suffer ill health what else would it have taken in order for me to deal with my true feelings. Even docotors are starting to see the connections between the way people think and feel and the overall health they experience. I no doubt believe that much of the disease present in the world today could be greatly improved by focusing more attention on people's emotions instead of simply the physical symptoms.

I am so grateful for the migraines that I had to deal with, the fighting of my parents and my time in the Navy for without those experiences would I have ever found my pathway back to God?

The coincidence is too perfect to ignore. As I began to improve the way I felt about things the universe brought to me: the circumstances, the situations and the people in my life that I needed I began to heal. When I was sick all of the time it seemed as if I was surrounded by people who were either sick or were constantly feeling sorry for themselves. As I strived to get healthier those people did not seem to come around anymore.

The same principle applies to my mother. She was very manipulative with me, often taking advantage of my innocence. When I came to terms with this and took my power back we were able to build an entirely new relationship. We often laugh together, have great conversations and most of all I finally feel that love and want to give the love back.

My thoughts without a doubt are the basis of what my life has become. I have taken a new approach to life, an approach that involves stepping back and honoring my feelings in every situation. Debbie Ford’s book The Dark Side of The Light Chasers offers some great techniques and exercises to help with this. I recognize just how detrimental a pessimistic approach to life can be. We as a society have been so programmed to look at the worst of a situation rather than the best. We have been taught to hate more than love. We have been taught to be afraid rather than to trust, in these beliefs, we have sacrificed our ability to truly find happiness. There is an easier way to God then a life filled with struggle. Although seeing the divine in even the worst of times offers even greater gifts from our soul.

We have the abilities to live the most glorious life one can imagine. God is here to help us fulfill our every desire, our every wish, and our every dream. God is here to help us understand that we are all truly connected, that no one is every truly alone. For how could you ever be alone when you come from and are forever connected to God.

This concept has lead me to walk a different path in life. For if we are all one does the potential to love each other not return the greatest benefit back on to me. I have chosen to go forth and always try to find the best in any situation (at times I still lose this one). I am willing to find things to feel good about even if there are more things to feel bad about. I have made peace with my enemies and told those closest to me that I love them with all of my heart. My life has a new purpose, I am here to work as a messenger of God. I am here to carry a torch to bring others to this light I see.

I am no longer afraid of life for I know I am never alone. God has sent me many angels to help me along this path and I am grateful for every single one of them.

God has spoken to me and has shown me the way to him. The power of meditation is a tool none of us should ever ignore. For if you ever seek your highest truth you will find it within the stillness of your mind.

In the end we will all find our own pathway back to God for no one loses in this game, we are all headed to the same place. Life is here for us to embrace and enjoy, life is suppose to be fun. Therefore judge not what others are doing for we as individuals do not have the ability to know the path of another’s soul. Do your best to love and be loved for after all are greatest gift from God is having the ability to do just that.

The End

A special thanks to a few very important people:

To Meredith: words only go so far and I know I have made mistakes but I am forever grateful for the gifts you have given me and for the love you have shown me even in my darkest hour.

To Dr. Eisen: I do not even know what to say except Thank you! I am so grateful to you and everything you have given me. You really are an angel!
Check out her website at you will not regret it.

To Dr. Leonard: Thank you for making my health troubles your health troubles. Thanks for giving me the belief that I could indeed heal my body. I am forever grateful.

And to my wonderful family, mom, dad, my wonderful sisters and great friends thanks for being you and always doing your best to be who you are, I love you all.

Thank you everyone for your continuted support and reading of my blog, I will continue to do my best to write about things that mean a lot to me and my only desire is that they also may serve of some benefit to those who find their way to my words. Namaste!

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