The creative outlet of Anthony Munkholm: thanks for reading

Healing through my words:

Life doesn't give you the people you want,
it gives you the people you need:
to love you, to hate you, to make you, to break you, & to make you the person you were meant to be. -unknown

Love can and will come to those who still believe in it. Hope is the key. Even when faced with disappointment love will still find a way. Even after betrayal love will still knock on your door. Love will come to those who have been hurt before. I will never give up on love. I will even love those who no longer love me. Love is all there is and all there ever will be. -me

I believe I have been given an opportunity to share my successes and my struggles, my up's and my down's, the good and the bad with those who find their way to my blog. I feel I have been given a gift to write. I feel in my heart part of my gift to the world comes through my words. My greatest joy comes through expressing myself here. I write for myself but I feel compelled to share it with you too. I believe in love, compassion, and understanding which I share here.

Friday, May 18, 2012

No title...

It is my time to enjoy life, without regret or remorse that things are going my way. I do not believe that we as humans must struggle but I do believe when we do and we get through it we enjoy things so much more. I have put in my time, I have been through some struggles, and yet here I am with a massive smile on my face and a huge sense of anticipation with what is to come. Is everything perfect right now? Of course not, my back is stiff, I sold all of my possessions, and I am leaving behind many people and places that mean so much to me. And yet here I am actually really excited about what is to come. Drooling over the fact that I have 22 days off of work. When will I have another opportunity like this, I am not sure. So excited to see my family, my friends, cannot wait to wrap my arms around her. So ready to take a trip to the lake house with my best friends, grab some beers, catch some fish, just like the old days!

Planning on recording my thoughts along the way, really hoping to dig deeper into my soul on this road trip. Oh how it feels so right. I am also not fooling myself though, I am very nervous about my new job, about new possibilities, about leaving the people here who held me up when I was down. I know my hard work is why I am in the position I am in and I know that I will have to keep working hard to keep this momentum going. One thing is for sure though, I believe in myself more right now than I ever have. This is not to sound cocky or arrogant but if I am not my biggest fan than who is? We should all be so wise to the benefits of being our own biggest fan. I am firmly committed to not beating myself up, although I most likely still will. I promise to myself to love myself even when things look gloom. I am doing my best to just know my worth even when it feels better not to. 

I hope I continue to find inspiration from within and I hope my light I feel affects others in a positive way. I promise to myself to continue to be brutally honest with myself. I love this blog, I love writing, and I feel that I hold myself a little more responsible for my feelings and actions by making them public. I do not really care if anyone reads this but I know for me it reaffirms my commitments and my beliefs that I hold so dear to my heart. I know I treat people well, I know I wear my heart on my sleeve and that will never change. I believe in the good in people and if it burns me then so be it. I will recover, I always do. 

I love that I ramble so much. I am not even sure if I am making sense but that is the beauty of my creative side. When I let go the words just seems to flow. Plus if I write down what I am thinking I do not seem as crazy as when someone pulls up next to me at a red-light and sees me talking to myself. Although one strength I have always admired is that I really am not too concerned with what others think, if I did I would not publish my posts. However, I do thrive when I get feedback good or bad, I am honored that individuals take time out of there day to venture around in my mind. I know I get lost in there a lot so I can only imagine trying to keep up with me. I am getting closer and closer to writing my book; I know God will bring it to me when the time is right. 

I look forward to writing even more now that school is over. More energy towards the things that bring me joy. School was great but you better believe I am so thrilled that it is over. Perhaps every day, perhaps my blog will grow in size, perhaps I will write for magazines and books, perhaps I may just continue to write for myself and see where it goes. It does not matter who and who does not like my writing, if I write for myself and stay to true to who I am the rest will fall into place in just the way it should.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Moving on...

I have a desire to come back,
I feel this California adventure may be coming to an end,
The journey has been amazing,
The memories will never be forgotten,
I will visit often, 

I know I will miss the smell of the ocean and the feel of the sand between my toes on the beach,
I will daydream often about the beautiful sunsets,
I know I will think I am crazy when I once again feel the bitter cold,
I will daydream often about those special places I have come to love so much,

I discovered so much about myself in the last nine years,
I have swam to the depths of my soul,
I have soared to the heavens,
I  have drown in my sorrows,

I have made some incredible friends that I will miss dearly,
Trained some amazing people who I grew so close to,
Been to the best spots California has to offer,
I have done my best to take this state for all it has to offer,

I have traveled the world,
Been to places I would have never imagined I would go,
I have stood side by side with my brothers and faced fear head on,
I have witnessed indescribable destruction and violence,
And yet I also witnessed a beautiful display of unity and strength as we came together to make sure we made it back home,

I fell down drunk in the streets of South Korea,
Ate food so spicy I thought my face was melting,
I got a glimpse of Germany and a taste of Ireland,
Ate sushi and drank Saki in Japan,

I broke my back,
I never gave up,
I got migraines,
I stayed strong,
I blew a hernia,
I realized sometimes I need to slow down,

I broke my body,
I broke my mind,
I lost my spirit,
And yet I never gave up,

I fell in love,
Married that love,
Pushed it to the edge,
And watched it slip away,

I cried a river,
I got so mad I could feel it in my veins,
I laughed so hard my stomach hurt,
I had so much fun I felt high,

I tried to snowboard,
Ran a mountain,
Rode a segway,
And tried to stand up and paddle board,

A rattlesnake almost took me out,
I came face to face with a mountain lion,
Had to keep the coyotes away,
And watched in amazement as the dolphins danced in the sea,

I walked in the ocean,
Jogged in the sand,
Ran in the street,
And play in the snow,

I ate the best fish tacos,
I have meet so many amazing people,
Attended some of the best concerts of my life,
And smoked some of California’s finest weed,

I eagerly finished my bachelor’s,
Am grinding out my masters,
Became a certified personal trainer,
And out performed the rest,

Opened my mind up to a new way of thinking,
Started to believe in the power of meditation,
Discovered the power of the law of attraction,
Found my way back to My God,

I have found myself,
I am happy with who I am and who I am becoming,
I believe in myself and the way my life is headed,
I am proud of myself for the work I put in,

At times I damn near quit,
I was certain it would never get better,
But the spirit in me is strong,
The spirit in me never let me stop hoping, stop believing,

I found support from my family,
I found strength in my friends,
I found compassion from my God,
I found happiness from my boys,

I know I miss my family,
I know I miss my friends,
I know my heart is pulling me in another new direction,
I know that even if it does not happen now it will happen soon,

I love the laughs I just had,
I love being close to those who are so special to me,
I love the desire and hope that she has stirred up in me,
I so treasure those moments with those close to me,

I look forward to the days ahead,
I believe I know where I am suppose to go,
I know it will all workout it the end,
I love all that I have become.