The creative outlet of Anthony Munkholm: thanks for reading

Healing through my words:

Life doesn't give you the people you want,
it gives you the people you need:
to love you, to hate you, to make you, to break you, & to make you the person you were meant to be. -unknown

Love can and will come to those who still believe in it. Hope is the key. Even when faced with disappointment love will still find a way. Even after betrayal love will still knock on your door. Love will come to those who have been hurt before. I will never give up on love. I will even love those who no longer love me. Love is all there is and all there ever will be. -me

I believe I have been given an opportunity to share my successes and my struggles, my up's and my down's, the good and the bad with those who find their way to my blog. I feel I have been given a gift to write. I feel in my heart part of my gift to the world comes through my words. My greatest joy comes through expressing myself here. I write for myself but I feel compelled to share it with you too. I believe in love, compassion, and understanding which I share here.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Healing through my words:

Healing through my words:

How did this happen
How did I lose one I love the most,
This was not in the plan,
Why did I have to leave my home,
And then my job too,
Fucking great now my back is hurting again for the first time in many years,
Who would be able to stay strong through this bullshit,
Why would anyone want to stay strong through this,

Feeling completely empty,
How could things have gone so wrong,
I am such a good person, why is this happening?
Filled with so many tears,
Anger raging through my veins I literally see my hair stand up on its own,
Yelling at God, such pain in my heart,
I do not deserve this...
I have broken many bones, had many injuries, been to war twice and it all fails in comparison to that hurting in my heart right now,

Literally on my knees in a moment of true surrender,
Never thought I knew how,
Begging for help,
Crying out to the Heavens,
Turns out letting go feels better than any amount of control I ever tried to have,
This may not be the way I expected things to unfold,
But the potential has become so great,
In this moment of pure loss the desire for great gains was born in me,
Enough trust in my Spirit, my family, my friends, that better days are ahead of me,

Certainly not sure the specifics of where my life is headed,
But the anticipation is really beginning to build,
Some of the struggle did not last very long,
My commitment to my God keeps me going,
The constant support from family and friends was unwavering,
Gaining strength from those who believe in me,
Excitement about this new journey in my life,
Truly been given an opportunity to do what I was put on this planet to do,

How amazing is it that I am about to become more abundant doing something that I love,
How great is it that I am still so young and I feel I am now in a position I was meant to be in,
Given this opportunity to make a difference in a community,
Given the chance to teach people,
Doing my best to inspire people to be their best,
Knowing I have a career now has taken me to another level of thinking,
Feeling so much more confident,
Thanking my Spirit everyday for the gifts I have been given,

Trying to believe that I could make it happen,
And I DID,
Doing my best to embrace the fear,
Wishing my body was feeling better,
Knowing that if I can handle this and make it through this I can do anything,
I already made it through this...

Accepting the pain, knowing it will not last, reminding myself that this too is just temporary,
Looking for the gifts in the pain,
I really believe the pain keeps me humble and compassionate to those who also struggle with pain,
This pain is not so bad, trying to accept that it is just another experience,

Not saying I am over the pain that I have been through,
But it has taken me to a new level of growth, one I did not think even I know I was headed for,
Seeing the gifts already that I have been given,
What confidence I have in myself these days,
Seeing the other side more and more,
Wishing the best, sending the love, and trying to let go of the hurt,
Learning from my mistakes,
Accepting my shortcomings is the fastest way to move on,

Not even close to ready to let go of her,
Feel like this time apart has simply made me love her more,
Still wishing everyday to have her back,
Knowing it would be great if we simply tried,

But so grateful because her light put me in this position,
Her dark allowed me to shine so bright,
Appreciating everything we went through,
Loving her in a way I have never loved anyone before,
Good or bad just pure love without expectation,
Forgiveness brings me more love,
Forgiveness is helping me heal my wounds,
Forgiveness for myself and forgiveness for my love

Now here I am moving forward,
I will still look back but now it feels like I can see the good,
Understand the bad,
And wish for the best!

1 comment:

  1. Hey Anthony, another stirring piece. Try and stay with the good feelings and remember to enjoy the fun and love you shared. Also embrace what is before you and be ready for the excitment and joy that will come with it. Dad