It is my time to enjoy life, without regret or remorse that things are going my way. I do not believe that we as humans must struggle but I do believe when we do and we get through it we enjoy things so much more. I have put in my time, I have been through some struggles, and yet here I am with a massive smile on my face and a huge sense of anticipation with what is to come. Is everything perfect right now? Of course not, my back is stiff, I sold all of my possessions, and I am leaving behind many people and places that mean so much to me. And yet here I am actually really excited about what is to come. Drooling over the fact that I have 22 days off of work. When will I have another opportunity like this, I am not sure. So excited to see my family, my friends, cannot wait to wrap my arms around her. So ready to take a trip to the lake house with my best friends, grab some beers, catch some fish, just like the old days!
Planning on recording my thoughts along the way, really hoping to dig deeper into my soul on this road trip. Oh how it feels so right. I am also not fooling myself though, I am very nervous about my new job, about new possibilities, about leaving the people here who held me up when I was down. I know my hard work is why I am in the position I am in and I know that I will have to keep working hard to keep this momentum going. One thing is for sure though, I believe in myself more right now than I ever have. This is not to sound cocky or arrogant but if I am not my biggest fan than who is? We should all be so wise to the benefits of being our own biggest fan. I am firmly committed to not beating myself up, although I most likely still will. I promise to myself to love myself even when things look gloom. I am doing my best to just know my worth even when it feels better not to.
I hope I continue to find inspiration from within and I hope my light I feel affects others in a positive way. I promise to myself to continue to be brutally honest with myself. I love this blog, I love writing, and I feel that I hold myself a little more responsible for my feelings and actions by making them public. I do not really care if anyone reads this but I know for me it reaffirms my commitments and my beliefs that I hold so dear to my heart. I know I treat people well, I know I wear my heart on my sleeve and that will never change. I believe in the good in people and if it burns me then so be it. I will recover, I always do.
I love that I ramble so much. I am not even sure if I am making sense but that is the beauty of my creative side. When I let go the words just seems to flow. Plus if I write down what I am thinking I do not seem as crazy as when someone pulls up next to me at a red-light and sees me talking to myself. Although one strength I have always admired is that I really am not too concerned with what others think, if I did I would not publish my posts. However, I do thrive when I get feedback good or bad, I am honored that individuals take time out of there day to venture around in my mind. I know I get lost in there a lot so I can only imagine trying to keep up with me. I am getting closer and closer to writing my book; I know God will bring it to me when the time is right.
I look forward to writing even more now that school is over. More energy towards the things that bring me joy. School was great but you better believe I am so thrilled that it is over. Perhaps every day, perhaps my blog will grow in size, perhaps I will write for magazines and books, perhaps I may just continue to write for myself and see where it goes. It does not matter who and who does not like my writing, if I write for myself and stay to true to who I am the rest will fall into place in just the way it should.