It comes roaring through me like a tidal wave,
From the depths of my very being I feel the strength,
I feel the essence of my true power,
I look to the sky and know that I am still fucking here,

The overwhelming sense of pride in myself when I think of all I have been through,
The pure sense of accomplishment,
Even a little satisfaction when I sit and think;
I really am still here,
Why should I not be my biggest fan,
If not me than who,

So many times I did not think I was going to make it,
So many times I flat out did not want to make it,
Taking that anger and turning it into motivation,
Taking that sadness and turning it into hope,

Taping into something here that needs to be released,
Putting it into writing rather than smashing my fist,
Almost wanting to taunt the Universe and say is that all you got,
Knowing I am a survivor, I am a warrior, with the determination to never stop,

Ignoring those constant voices in my head when they say no I cannot,
No longer suffocating them in,
Instead letting them go,
Mocking them, laughing at myself for being such a fool,

Trusting I have the power to do anything I want,
Why not try,
I sure as hell have told myself enough times that no I cannot,
Why not trick my mind and myself and tell myself that Yes I Can,

Standing my ground,
I do not care what you think,
I do not care if I go all over the place or make no sense,
This is for me,
This is how I proceed,

Why do I try to convince myself that getting angry is so wrong,
I no longer have to play that game,
I can now express my anger in these healthy ways, rather than being told I am wrong,
No more silly games, I have won,
Now I recognize that feeling, I own it, and I let it go,
Anger is a power, I like the power,
It is no wonder it shows up in my life with such ease,

It feels good to play in the darkness of my mind,
Not trying to talk myself up just acknowledging this burning in my soul,
It feels good right now,
I feel so strong right now,
I feel FREE!

Take that crack and see just how much more pressure it can withstand,
Inch by inch,
As if the ground in front of my feet begins to shatter like glass with every step,
My chest aches as I feel the disappointment rip through me,

How strong am I suppose to be,
Did I miss the sign,
Am I lost ,
Does not always feel like things are turning around,

My back and shoulders have grown tired,
My knees want to tremble,
A quick glance in the mirror and my eyes look empty,
The load continues to build,

Where am I screwing up,
Why do I feel like a few of these patterns will never stop,
Such a fool I can be,
This massive heart can be my own worst enemy,

Slowly releasing the energy rather than waiting for it to erupt like a volcano,
My body responds better to this methodical demise of these strong emotions,
Honoring these feelings as they arise with my words,
Knowing this time right here will allow me to heal.

Inspired

I want the girl with the beautiful hair next to me,

I look left,
I look right,
I start to think she is nowhere in-sight,

I close my eyes and look inside,
Turns out she never left my mind.