The creative outlet of Anthony Munkholm: thanks for reading

Healing through my words:


Life doesn't give you the people you want,
it gives you the people you need:
to love you, to hate you, to make you, to break you, & to make you the person you were meant to be. -unknown




Love can and will come to those who still believe in it. Hope is the key. Even when faced with disappointment love will still find a way. Even after betrayal love will still knock on your door. Love will come to those who have been hurt before. I will never give up on love. I will even love those who no longer love me. Love is all there is and all there ever will be. -me




I believe I have been given an opportunity to share my successes and my struggles, my up's and my down's, the good and the bad with those who find their way to my blog. I feel I have been given a gift to write. I feel in my heart part of my gift to the world comes through my words. My greatest joy comes through expressing myself here. I write for myself but I feel compelled to share it with you too. I believe in love, compassion, and understanding which I share here.














Monday, June 21, 2010

For Meredith



I am a strong person,
I have been through so much,
I have become so accustomed to going at it alone,
Please understand that I do want you by my side,

Taking one day at a time,
Doing my best to let you in,
Working on letting go of my deepest fears,
Grateful for the patience you have displayed up to this point,

I am healing this heart,
You have tried so hard to help me mend those wounds,
Coming to the realizations that letting go is what is best,
Trusting that you will pick me up if I fall back down,

Turning a new page in this relationship every day,
Willing to learn from my mistakes in the past,
Wanting to take you by the hand and move forward,
Maybe it is your shoulder I should seek to rest my head on once in a while,

Oh how part of me wishes we could start over,
And yet I do not think I really would,
The trouble that we have been through together is only going to make us stronger,
Such an appreciation I have in my heart for the experiences we have had,

I want to let you in,
The ability to be vulnerable with you is something I do not want to fear,
I want to provide you with the safety and comfort that you are yearning for,
I want to show you in better ways the love I truly have for you,

Thank you for encouraging me to take this journey,
Thank you for being my crutch to lean on,
I want to return the favor,
I just want to be with you.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

The Power of the Focus Wheel



I was taught a technique a while back on how to help improve my mood in regards to any single situation, thought, or mood. The basis behind this technique is being completely honest with where you currently stand on the situation, which for me was the hardest part.

Subjects often covered for people using this technique are: money, relationships, health, career, family, and so on. When I first started using this technique I would use very broad subjects, and I as I worked with it more and felt more comfortable I soon was able to get very specific. This technique is called focus wheeling and I either do them on paper (which really is a lot more effective and fun for me) or simply go over it in my head.

The basis of this technique is to help assist in “feeling” better about any number of subjects. This is not a quest to become eternally happy (without the down’s we would not be able to know the up’s)but rather a practice of acknowledging that you do not feel quite right about something and then gradually working yourself to a better feeling place.

A great author Debbie Ford (suggested reading The Shadow Effect &Why Good People Do Bad Things) has this wonderful analogy for feelings and either dealing with them or not dealing with them. She refers to this analogy as the beach ball effect. The beach ball effect talks about stuffing our feelings inside of us raher than dealing with them as they arise. Every time we have a feeling or an emotion (the terms are interchangeable) it is for a reason. For many of us when we have feelings that we perceive to be negative we tend to bundle them up. This is where the beach ball comes in, imagine trying to hold a beach ball underwater(call the first beach ball shame), at first it can be an easy task. But then add more situations that create fear, unworthiness, anger and so on. After a short time it becomes impossible and the beach balls are going to make it back to the surface. These beach balls show up in numerous ways, ill-health (in my case terrible migraines or a back injury), fights with a spouse, or overwhelming debt. If you ignore your feelings and do not deal with them, they get bigger. The longer you ignore them the more power they have until eventual they explode and you are faced with a situation that finally forces you to deal with those feelings. It is imperative that we deal with our emotions when they arise (something I am learning more and more) rather than try to hold that beach ball under the water.

A focus wheel is a technique that allows you to deal with those negative emotions when they arise. Whether you are annoyed with a co-worker, feelings poor from the lack of money in your bank account or depressed over the loss of a loved one, a focus wheel can be a great tool to help shift your energy to a better feeling place.

Below I am going to share a focus wheel I did this morning:

The first part is to write down a statement that sums up the subject you are feeling negative emotion about: I am feeling a little worried about the lack of money in my bank account

This statement is very important. The statement allows you to be honest with yourself and really get in touch with the heart of the matter. Trying to be as specific as possible is helpful but if you are new to doing to focus wheel statements as simple as: “I want more money,” are a great place to start.
The second part is then coming up with a statement of what you would like to see happen, write it as if it is already true for you.

My statement looked like this: When I look at my bank account I am filled with feelings of comfort and security.

*Notice I did not specifically ask for more money in my statement. The purpose to the focus wheel is to get in touch with your feelings, therefore I am looking to feel more secure and comfortable with my finances not to have money magically appear in my account.

When you are able to get to the feeling place of what it is that you desire, the manifestation (or physical creation) does not become as important. Let the universe take care of the rest, just trying to feel better is such an important first step.
The final step is to write statements (in my case between 10-12) that allow you to move into that feeling place of what it is that I am looking for.

Here are my eleven statements:

1. I am open and receptive to all of the abundance in the universe.

2. Money is an energy and by being open to it and expecting it to come my way the universe will continue to provide me with what it is I am asking for.

3. I am abundant in so many other ways, I have a wonderful house, a nice car, live in a beautiful area, have a wife that cares about me, I am able to easily find more things that show my worth that simply the money in my savings account.

4. Using my focusing power to feel wealthy where I am at, is exactly what it takes to bring me into a better feeling place with money.

5. I am very pleased with all of the positive effort that I have put forth into bringing even more abundance into my life.

6. Money is able to come to me from many different sources and I am open and receptive to all of them.

7. I am very strong, healthy and in my good health I am thinking positive thoughts and with my positive thoughts I am more open to other desires that I have.

8. Working on a focus wheel and mediation in the morning is really a great way to start the day off right.

9. I often look around me and can easily find reasons to feel abundant in everything that I do.

10. I am truly blessed and have never been poor and realizing that I will always have what I need is truly a very comforting feeling.

11. I take comfort knowing I am preparing myself for financial success by reading books, attending financial classes, contributing to my retirement and focusing on being prepared.

The statements you make are a tool to improve your mood. You do not need to go from a feeling of despair to one of pure joy, but you will notice your feelings are shifting towards a more positive matter. In my case I did not specifically just focus on money because that can bring up some negative emotion for me. Instead I put myself in a better feeling place about abundance as a whole and I am now better prepared to handle situations and discussions that have to do with money.

After a focus wheel I immediately go into meditation and try to hold onto those improved feelings I have just created. As Buddha says “All that we are is a result of what we have thought.” Therefore can you not see the value in trying to directly focus your attention specifically on those improved feelings you have just created.

A focus wheel is such a valuable tool to me, the more I have used them the more I have literally felt my energy in my body shift. I have felt my mood improve on many different levels. There is no doubt in my mind that I get what I think about. My feelings and emotions are a direct reflection of what my life has become. And as I have dealt with and found more and more ways to feel better on a wide variety of subjects my life has continued to improve. I have made peace with many things from my past(and still struggle with some) and am striving to become a better person. I am so grateful I have found this simple technique and hope it may offer some help to those who are looking for it.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

The 5 Steps To Peace


Peace will be attained when we, as human beings...

Permit ourselves to acknowledge that some of our old beliefs about God and about Life are no longer working.

Explore the possibility that there is something we do not understand about God and about Life, the understanding of which could change everything.

Announce that we are willing for new understandings of God and Life to now be brought forth, understandings that could produce a new way of life on this planet.

Courageously examine these new understandings and, if they align with our personal inner truth and knowing, enlarge our belief system to include them.

Express our lives as a demonstration of our highest beliefs, rather than as a denial of them.

Excerpt from The New Revelations: A Conversation with God by Neale Donald

Saturday, May 22, 2010



Life is a pure flame,
and we live by an invisible sun within us.
Sir Thomas Brown


Well I got up this morning and had two puppies laying on me and sharing their love. I had a puppy cuddle up next to me last night and keep me warm. My dogs represent unconditional love, they are the ultimate role models. My dogs are a source of inspiration for me. I try to take that love they give to me and share it with everyone else. Dog’s do not care what color my skin is, how much money I make, or what my political or spiritual views are. Dogs (really animals in general) are a gift from God. They are here to remind us that love is the answer and when I start my morning off with a puppy in my lap it is easy to remember that God is right. Feeling loved and giving love when I first wake up helps me lay a foundation to have a day filled with more.

I brewed some coffee this morning and the smell of it is a heavenly aroma for me. It tickles my senses and reminds me that I am alive. As I stumble down the stairs early in the morning the world is not quite awake yet. Nothing starts my day off better than a kitchen filled with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee.

As I opened the patio door to allow my fury friends to do the morning business the birds are just beginning to wake up. I love waking up with the world, it feels so right to me. Watching the morning fog start to retreat, seeing the sun beginning to poke his head out over the mountains and saying goodnight to the moon are all reasons I enjoy getting up early in the morning.

After I take a few deep breaths of the fresh crisp outdoor air, I feel inside that it is time to go within and tend to my soul. My soul will never impose its will on me, but I do know that when I close my eyes, breath deep and just let go I will see, feel and know that my morning meditation ritual is the reason my life has become so meaningful. Meditation has given me an entirely new perspective on life, I have seen my purpose. I have felt the love and compassion and am excited to give it back.
Upon opening my eyes I am inspired to write so I sit down on my computer, coffee in hand and begin to tap into my creative side and write. What shall I write about today I often find myself wondering. Shall I try to compose a poem, perhaps scribe some affirmations to keep this good attitude going or maybe I will just write and see where my “muse” takes me.

My senses become more and more alive with every passing second. I know at this time in the day, that there is so much more to life then what I see, taste, touch, hear and smell. At this time of day it is obvious to me that life is about how I feel. My emotions are the greatest sense I have.

The way I feel is such an important sense to me. My emotions are something I am striving to never ignore. For my “gut” will never let me down. This morning “FEELS” good to me and that is a sign from God that I am on the right track today. I can feel love from my dogs, I can feel joy as the sun rises and I can feel the optimism as I sit here and write and put myself in a good feeling place before my day truly takes off.

This is a wonderful way to wake up. I am not worried about what needs to get done today, I can save that for later. I am not thinking about next week, or yesterday, I am finding reasons to stay focused in the present. What is true for me right now. I know that if something is bothering me or I feel bad about something that I can and do have the power to change the way I feel. I am not bound by my situations or feelings, I am in control and I decide how I feel.

I am filled with feelings of gratitude, optimism and hope. I am grateful that I have learned how valuable it is to put myself in a good feeling place before I start my day. I am optimistic that by taking these few moments early in the morning that I will have a great day, and when those bumps in the road do come along I am better prepared to handle them. I am hopeful that every day will continue to get better and better.

I am happy to be alive, I am happy to be a child of a God. I am truly grateful for this experience I have chosen to have. I am mentally, physically and spiritual ready to handle my day now. I am not scared or overwhelmed by how much I have to do today, because I know I have taken the time to get myself ready for whatever today might bring. So I say to you world, “Bring it on cause I can handle it.”

Sunday, May 16, 2010


Dream big today,
Today we make great things happen,
How wonderful it is to be aware that the Universe is on my side,
How exciting it is to know that life is suppose to be fun.

I have the inspiration in my body,
I have felt the chills in my spine,
I have been shown the path,
Wish I could show the clarity in my mind,

Unexplainable feelings that take my breath away,
Well-being all around,
Words flowing through me like a river,
This vortex has drawn me in and I never want to leave,

Saturday, May 8, 2010


As a personal trainer I have worked with clients from all walks of life. I have trained clients who struggle with weight loss, clients who are elderly, and clients who have suffered back, knee or shoulder injuries.
The one thing they have in common is they all come to me with a vision in their head of how they want their experience training with me to go. Many are seeking weight loss, while others are seeking relief from pain and some simply want a more effective way to workout.
The most challenging and rewarding part of my job is helping clients realize one major point: I want them to understand the difference between being healthy and having a body look the way it is desired to look.
I do not want anyone to think that are limits to how much a person can change their body if the desire and determination are strong enough. As a matter of fact having a “perfect image” can serve as a means of motivation to help an individual meet their goals. The key is to remember that often we are our own worst critics. We as individuals see ourselves everyday and it is very easy to criticize ourselves. This is self-sabotage and we need to find ways to embrace our bodies more.
In so many cases, I have had clients lose an enormous amount of weight or completely reshape their hips and butt and not give credit where credit is due. They work so hard and rather than focus on the changes they made they still become frustrated when not yet being where they desire. I want people to embrace the journey, learn to compliment themselves and take pride in the fact that they are doing the best they can, with an attitude the like the that, the results are sure to follow.
Often we as a society will hold ourselves to an unattainable standard and then are crushed or let down when we do not reach it. With Hollywood, professional sports, and models many of us have lost touch with what it means to truly be healthy. Furthermore with shows like “The Biggest Loser” instilling false hope and ideas like it is a good idea to lose 30 lbs in one week, it is no wonder Americans are not sure what is healthy.
There is an old saying, do not judge a book by its cover. Do not assume that just because a person on TV has the great hair, the tight tummy or the perfect smile that they are healthy. These are all visual judgments we make and say nothing to the many other aspects of being healthy. This is simply having a body type that the majority of society deems as pleasing. Obviously those with the trim, thin body probably are in shape but are they healthy? I know 300 pound people who can survive one of my hour long workouts and I know people who are trim, and could not make it 10 minutes with me.
Many individual will go to extreme lengths or take short cuts in their quest for a “better body.” Diet pills, crash diets and now even the lap band surgery are all perfect examples. None of these make the person healthier they are instead merely applying a band-aid to a wound that will surely grow. By using vices to try to achieve something that simply requires hard work, determination and persistence will eventually come back and bite you.
Furthermore do not assume that what we see on TV is how our bodies are suppose to or have to look. Shapes and sizes of bodies come in about as many style as we have cars to choose from.
Some bodies are predisposed to be tall or short, some are more likely to be hefty or skinny, some are more apple shaped and some are more pear shaped. The diversity of shapes and sizes are something we should embrace and behold. For if we all looked the same, visual stimulation would surely lose its appeal fast.
All bodies are beautiful, and when we embrace what God has given us we can truly become a healthier person. When we admit that there is something we do not like about our body we hinder our ability to change it. Instead do your best to come to peace with where you are at, believe that you are beautiful and then decide to change it. Changing it does not mean you do not like it, it simply means you are deciding to express yourself in a new version.
My definition of a healthy person would be: a healthy person is someone who is in balance with the universe. I believe there are three parts to everyone one of us, the mind, the body and the spirit. Neglect to one or any of the parts will interfere with your ability to experience perfect health.
In regards to our mental health, did you know the average American watches over 4 hours of TV a day. History channel or not watching, that much TV serves as absolutely no mental stimulation. Our mind is an amazing tool we have been given and when it is used correctly all of us have the potential to accomplish anything.
We should write poetry, take photos and perhaps even learn to play a musical instrument. Learning a foreign language, taking a college course or doing the sodku in the Sunday paper are all great ways to challenge the mind. Expressing ourselves in a creative manner is the best exercise you can give a mind. Our minds are hungry and the more we feed them the healthier we will become.
Our physical health is a vital component to our overall sense of well being. Exercise should serve as a foundation paired up with a balanced diet. Every single person should exercise. I read a quote once that said, “With everything we know about the benefits of exercise, people should have to get a doctor’s note not to exercise.”Nothing could be more true, exercise is a crucial component of a healthy life.
Not everyone needs to look like Brad Pitt or Heidi Klum but it is absolutely essential that we give as much attention to our bodies as we do our cars. It is scary but true, most Americans take better care of their cars than their bodies. This is not meant to be a spanking on America, but we know fast food is bad for us and we eat it, we know smoking causes cancer and we do it, and we know we should exercise but many of us do not. I have heard every excuse in the book, when you begin to get healthier you would not dream of ignoring the body’s physical needs.
The body is like a well oiled machine and when you forget to grease the gears things are going to start to malfunction. We suffer from obesity, diabetes, stiff joints and heart disease just to name a few. Not exercising your body is unwise and unfair. When we do not exercise our body many organs such as the heart and lungs have to work twice as hard to do the most simple tasks. No one should every get winded walking up a flight of stairs.
Not everyone needs to spend 2 hours in the gym every night, there is an appropriate way to express our bodies physically for everyone. Whether it is pounding the weights, swimming in the lake or walking with the kids in the stroller, we can all find ways to exercise.
When we do not care for our bodies we are limiting our abilities to truly express ourselves. God created our bodies, God created our minds and God created our souls. If we ignore any aspect of this threesome we are essentially ignoring God. For when the mind, the body and the soul are fully cared for our potential for success in every aspect of life is further enhanced.
Whether you go to a church or a temple, pray before dinner or meditate before breakfast, taking time everyday to be in touch with that you believe to be holy is crucial.
Our spirit plays an equal and important part in our overall sense of being healthy. Our soul is our guidance, our soul is that little guy on your shoulder helping you make smart choices, and our soul is our connection to God. It serves all of us very well to pay attention to the spirit that has been placed within us.
Our emotions are indicators from our soul, and from our God. If we are partaking in something that brings us feelings of joy, happiness and/or acceptance we are on the right path. If we are feeling sad, angry or scared, that is an important sign from God that you are doing something that your soul does not agree with. Example: when we criticize and judge others, often that will create an emotion within us that represents negativity. Therefore, if we acknowledge that we are feeling bad we then have the power to change it. No one likes to feel bad and using your emotions as a guidance system we can find ways to quickly release that negative energy.
On the contrary when you are doing something positive you feel it. Have you ever looked at a new born baby and had an overwhelming sense of love or joy fill every fiber of your being. Those are good emotions, those are signs from God that you are being the happy, positive being you are suppose to be.
We as humans are a three part system: mind, body and spirit. Those who wish to embrace this idea and hold it dear will find out very quickly that this is the true key to happiness. Many of us desire to have six pack abs and chiseled arms, and that is a noble desire. It is important to remember though, we are perfect where we are at and we should take care of our bodies not because we want them to look better but because our health is a vital component to happiness. Challenging our mind and nurturing our soul is just as important. Combine the three and watch your health really take off.